Author: richschaus

Over the course of the week it seemed all of the students had contacted Joseph about the difference between the values of week one and the non-negotiable of week 2.  Four times in different ways Joseph shared this mind exercise. 

Imagine that you are the captain on a vessel.  You have a strong value for human life.  Hidden on board are several children who are Jewish and it is 1936.  The German navy boards your ship knowing that you have historically been a smuggler.  You also have a value of honesty.  Which one of these two values wins out for you?  This is the difference.

Julie had drawn beautiful pictures and clever words to capture what she was thinking throughout project one.  She actually enjoyed adding color and the lack of structure really spoke to her.  Where she struggled was coming up with a phrase to bring it all together.  Ultimately her statement included using art to help those who were hurting.

Sam was very structured and wrote out long answers and was very focused on this.  But he too struggled with putting it all into words.  He needed the creative side of human nature and was lacking the ability.  The day before the next gathering he actually called Julie and asked her to have coffee with him so she could help him word what he was trying to say.  They had a great time and Sam was able to help her put some structure to her wording as well.

Eric did not even really begin the work until an hour before the group was to meet.  All week he was distracted and confused.  He liked to relax and enjoy life.  Most days he felt guilty that he was doing so little.  At church last Sunday the minister talked about the Grace of God and that God’s grace covers over a multitude of sins.  Eric figured that laziness was a sin and God could do the work for him.  When he presented his personal constitution to Joseph he noticed the disappointment in his eyes.  Joseph tried to play it down by saying they would talk later in the week.

Sarah had an incredible but impossible ethos statement.  Of course, if she never slept and ate on the move, she could pull it all off.  Maybe if God blessed her with some superhuman powers she would do the miraculous.  Joseph knew that he would have to help her to home in on the essence of what God would want for her.

A few hours before the gathering, Joseph sat quietly dreaming of his ultimate future.  In the dream he was walking with his wife toward an incredible venue.  At this point the vision was only about 20 years away and he has come a very long way on this heroic quest that he developed so long ago.  In the vision it is a beautiful day.  The air is cool and fresh, and his bride is looking incredible.  He is walking in his military dress blues.  Their hands are intertwined as they walk toward the double doors.  Gently he pulls the door open and ushers her inside.  There they are greeted by room full of people.  The faces are familiar.  As they walk through the crowd each face comes with a distinct memory.  His mind is sharp even though he is almost 75 years old.  While the crowd is very encouraging there are three faces that he is looking for above all others.  Suddenly he sees them.  His children are moving toward him.  Tears fill his eyes as he sees them with their families.  All three are living God honoring lives and have put together this party to honor their parent’s 50^th wedding anniversary. The date is May 17, 2047.  Joseph and his bride are led to the head table and they sit surrounded by love and applause.  Stories of lives impacted and how the world is different because of this couple are filling the room. 

When it is time to eat, they are called upon to go through the line first.  The menu he knows matches the buffet lines that he had enjoyed at weddings as a child.  His mouth waters as he can almost taste the food as well as the memories of childhood joys.  When the meal is complete, he is dancing with his wife.  Polkas and laughter envelop the room.  Soon the evening is ending and they return to this home.  This home that is paid off and in great shape is powered entirely off the grid. 

The dream comforts him as he prepares for the evening ahead.  Truth be told he walks through this vision often.  It keeps him on track.  Some moments when temptation comes his way, he knows that a misstep could wipe away the dream.  He has eaten right and exercised so that he will be in the best possible shape to dance with his much younger wife.

Tonight, Joseph will share his life vision with the class and encourage them to do the same. 

All four students were present and ready to go on time this week.  Joseph had talked with Sarah about her tardiness and how disrespectful that he thought that was.  He was gentle but strong.  Eric was there actually wearing nice slacks and a button-down shirt.  His face was fresh and clean.  He looked ready for an interview.  Joseph had talked with him during the week during a discussion on values.  Eric had said that he wanted to take on the behaviors like the professional that he dreamed of becoming.  Joseph encouraged him to dress like his dream was already coming true.  Sam was there with a notebook ready to do his part.  He still had not put together an accountability team but had some ideas of people to talk to.  Julie also did not really have a very solid list of prospects.  But she knew one person that she would talk to this week that might be able to help her more than most. 

“Last week we talked about knowing yourself.  Some of you have discovered that you really don’t know much about who you are.”

Joseph looked around but did not allow his eyes to sit on any one person.  Tonight, we will begin exploring where you are going.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. –Jeremiah 29:11

“Now I know that each of you have differing views on God.  But I must share with you up front that I feel deeply that God has a plan for each of our lives.  What we will put together this week is not really something that you will or even can create.  What you will construct is a vision, God’s vision for your life.  We will begin exploring this vision and then use it to shape the direction of our lives.  As we create the vision, we will capture the heart of God.”

Sam stopped writing and asked, “I like that.  But how do we know that the vision that we create is from God.  Our own imaginations can be pretty powerful.”

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. -2 Corinthians 10:5

“That is true.  Our own ambitions and desires often get in the way of who we really need to become.  God created us for a purpose.  While I might be given a glimpse of His vision for the lives of my family or even my students; only you and God will know the truth.  That is why it is so important to know yourself.  Examine yourself and be totally honest.  Have others speak into your life.  He speaks through other people and of course His Word.  Circumstances can also awaken his vision for you as well.  Also, as you create the story that tells of your future life, understand that God may withhold some portions of the dream from you for now.  Later, when you have grown and matured, He will share more.”

Joseph then shared the vision for his life.  Throughout the telling of the story he paused to point out the critical nature of some of the details.  Throughout the vision he was envisioning who he was physically, mentally, spiritually and socially.

And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man. -Luke 2:52

“Also notice as I told the story I attempted to include all of my senses.  The more real that you make the vision, the more likely you are to live your life in such a way to fulfill it.”

Julie coughed as a way of breaking in and interrupting.

“If this is God’s plan than do, we really need to do anything to make it happen.  I mean in theory I can simply believe, and it will come true in His timing.”

“On one level you are correct.  But that is not really the way that it works.  You see God gives us the vision and the privilege of working to make it come to pass.  While it appears that we are creating a destination, the truth is that really what we are creating is a journey filled with fun and adventure. We know that in the end the good guys win, but the fun is in seeing how we get there.”

In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. –James 2:17

“One year I moved my family from the state of Washington to Oklahoma.  Consider that Washington was me knowing myself.  While living in the Northwest, God showed me much about who He was and who I was.  He worked with me and developed me.  When the time was right, He called me to move.  That is the lesson from last week.  Now I am asking you to develop a picture of what Oklahoma looks like.  Where is your destination that you are going to take your moving truck and all your belongings to? 

Something else that is significant is that along the way there were road signs.  These were often helpful.  By seeing the signs, I knew if I was on track or not.  If I looked up and the sign said welcome to New York I would have realized that I had missed a turn somewhere.  Once you complete the story of your ultimate life it is critical that you take some time to make some road signs so that you know if you are heading the right way or not.  I suggest looking at your life three years from now as well as one year from now.  Again, the more realistic and the more senses that you incorporate into your story the more likely it is to come true.”

There was much discussion and stories told of moving experiences.  Soon the laughter died out and all the students went home to begin capturing their dreams.

Week 3 Worksheet

Project 1:  Write out the story of your ultimate dream for your life.  Make sure to include elements from your whole self, Physical, Mental, Spiritual, Social, Professional, Housing, Parenting.  While still being somewhat realistic, do not hold yourself back.  Dream big.  Include all of your senses and work to experience as much of the story as possible.

Project 2: Do the same as project 1 but now look just 3 years into the future and create a second story there with the same criteria.  Make sure that this story is leading you toward the ultimate dream of your life.  Put dates and times to some parts of the story.

Project 3:  Do the same as project 2 but now look just one year into the future.  Make sure to consider how the dream a year from now feeds into your dream for five years from now.  For example, if you want to graduate college with a four-year degree on your five-year plan.  Then part of the picture in your one-year plan would be to include research and exploration toward that dream of college.

Project 4:  Review at least a portion of your values list every day this week and journal how you are doing.

Project 5: Officially create a little team to help hold you accountable to your values this week.

Lesson 3 Who are you? Developing a Personal Constitution

Over the past week Joseph has had follow up conversations with all of his students.  Discussions around values and faith have come up often. 

Joseph met with Eric a couple of times this week.  Eric holds firmly that if God wants him on the mission field and he is certain that God does, then Eric can sit on the couch eating chips and playing video games and God will make it happen.  Joseph agreed that God was fully capable of doing whatever He wanted.  But he reminded Eric that even God typically chooses not to drive a parked car.  There are lots of things God can do, but He won’t. 

Sarah is very concerned with getting it all right and perfect.  She seems terrified to make a mistake so has called Joseph several times and sent many drafts of the values list.  Joseph has attempted to calm her concerns.  The list is a beginning.  Over time God will reveal other Scriptures and her life experiences will give other opportunities to establish a standard for living a righteous and holy life.  In fact, over time the list of values should become more challenging and push us in many ways. 

Sam is certain that he is right and here he is likely on target.  Where he is strong on the values portion, he is very reluctant to gather others to call him on his choices.  The whole accountability thing scares him quite a bit.  Joseph talked about those men and women who coach super stars.  These people that they are coaching are incredible, yet they take input from the coach so that they can become or remain the best in the world at their craft.  While nobody really likes to have their flaws called out or told that their might be a better way, they know that if they want to excel they must take feedback.

Talking with Julie though out the week was a bit like trying to control a kite in a tornado.  Her mind raced quickly from one idea to another without ever landing.  Joseph worked to help her focus on a few key values that seemed to really speak to her.  While she states that she is open to accountability, she is having trouble finding anyone that she trusts. 

You, my reader.  What are your struggles in considering your values?  Is your life blowing in the wind or are you heading toward a defined target?  Remember that what you are building may end up in a career or a marriage but really the target is to build character.  What character must you have to live the life that you really want? 

 It was early morning and Joseph sat quietly slowly drinking his coffee and considering what week 2 might look like.  He visualized the students and their struggles.  When he had first decided to try to help people, he would become frustrated with their struggles.  “How difficult can it be to write down who you are and who you want to be?”  In those days he would become frustrated.  More than once he decided that he simply did not have the skills to be able to teach these skills that had come so easy to him.  It had been in those moments where he had heard the voice of God challenging him to grow in patience.  The Holy Spirit nudged him toward creativity so that he could find new ways to communicate the material.  Jesus, himself, spoke to Joseph through His Word and His example.  For the most part the apostles really didn’t understand much of what Jesus was teaching until later after the resurrection and mostly after the Holy Spirit came to them and filled them in the upper room.  Change take time. 

Now on the morning of the next gathering; Joseph prepared himself by reflecting on his own Ethos Statement.  This is the essence of who he is.  While over time our values adjust with maturity our ethos is the core of who we are.  This statement will include a personal mission statement, a key Scripture verse, some key words to describe who you are and some nonnegotiable statements of our values.  In tonight’s training, the class will create a personal constitution.  This document will give a solid baseline for the rest of their lives.

“Father show me who I am in Your sight.  When I look at myself, I see a tired and weak man with great dreams but little to show for it.  Some have called me hateful names in the past.  Others hate me because I take a stand for you.  Some hate me because they simply disagree with my philosophy of life.  Some days I feel like I am falling short.  Jesus, help me to be the man that you have designed me to be.  Often, I am impatient.  I do not show the love for the lost as I should.  I can be greedy and selfish on so many occasions. I lust, I have hateful thoughts, I am full of judgment.  Holy Spirit purify me.  Wash me, cleanse me.  As I open Your Word to me, let me know it, hear it and apply it.”

Joseph read a chapter of Proverbs, 5 Psalms and several pages of Scripture.  Carefully he listened for anything that God might be telling him.  Today, God seemed to be encouraging Him to listen.  He sat, listened through the silence.  The cat landed on the ground across the living room and took up her position near the fire.  With a deep breath, Joseph closed his eyes and strained his ears to hear.  The wind seemed to whisper to him as it shook the leaves right outside the back door.  Peace washed over his soul and Joseph considered his life.  He was tired.  But there was much to do.  Every student was important.  Not only those that showed up in his living room from time to time but also those that had heard his recordings and read his books.  “One more, Father.  Just one more!”

As the first glimmer of the sun showed itself, Joseph could hear the Father say, “I know you.  I am pleased with you.  You are my son.  I love you more than you can comprehend.  Those feelings that you are describing come from My enemy. They come from your flesh.  Do not listen to them.  Focus on me.  Listen to my Word.  Obey.”

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” –Jeremiah 1:5

Throughout the day Joseph played and worked and enjoyed the beauty of God’s creation around him.  He would walk through the woods close to his house and listen for the Father to speak.  He reflected on his life verse, Micah 6:8.

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. –Micah 6:8

As evening approached the students appeared.  The teacher was ready.  While Joseph was in the kitchen preparing some snacks the students all found their places.  Tonight, they all seemed a bit subdued.  Joseph smiled as he noticed that they had all chosen the same seats as they did the week previous.

Sipping the tea, they discussed the assignments from the week prior.  This assignment had been easy for some but more difficult for others. Sam looked at those who had found it challenging as if they were idiots.  As if he could read Sam’s mind, Joseph began.

“One day the beaver called forth all of the animals of the kingdom and said that they would have a contest to determine who would be the new ruler of all.  The best and brightest of all the various species of creatures were all there.  This contest would have only one event said the beaver.  All the animals considered the possibilities.  The fish hoped that it was a swimming event.  The monkey hoped that it was a climbing event.  The crocodile and the lion both hoped that there would be a meal involved.   All the birds hoped that it was a flying event.  Finally, the beaver spoke, “Are we agreed that the winner is the ruler and we all will obey our new king?”  All agreed and ready to begin.  Stillness rested over the forest as they awaited the announcement.  “The contest will be to build the strongest dam across the river.”  While the birds could make a nest, the idea of a dam to span the river seemed beyond their ability.  Most of the creatures had no idea.  By nightfall the beaver was the new king of the forest.”

The students laughed but not out loud.  A gleam crossed the eyes of Joseph. 

“Now realize that if the event had included hunting on land, the lion would have won.  If the event would have included swimming a fish certainly would be the new ruler.  What if the event had been hunting in the river, the crocodile would have taken the prize?  My point is that we all have our strengths.  God has created us that way.  He did that so that we would depend on each other.  If we all had the same strengths some of us would not be needed.”

Sam looked as if he had been punched in the gut.  No one looked around.  Each was looking within themselves and feeling ashamed.  They had all made judgments about each other.

“On this side of Heaven, perfection alludes us.  Often, we fear those things that we do not understand.  We are trapped by a desire to be known.  Yet, at the same time we are convinced that if others knew us, they would neither love us nor like us.  Consider this flesh.”  Joseph lightly touched the skin on his forearm.  After a short pause he also lightly brushed the skin on his face. “It is a temporary structure.   Many of the relationships that we find so dear today simply will not matter tomorrow.”

For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. 2 Corinthians 5:1

“If my wife were here, she would show you pictures of me in the 80s with a mullet.  Oh, I thought I was so cool.  I got my hair done like that to impress a girl. Today, I don’t even remember her name.  This body is simply a costume that covers over our true selves.  Our true selves can be found in our souls.  What is in your soul?  What was God’s plan for you?  This is what we are looking to discover this week.  Would you be the beaver who was clever enough to speak first so that the contest would favor him?  Maybe you would want to be the lion or one of the birds.  Regardless, we are examining deep within us to discover who we are.  First, recognize that all of mankind is made in the image of God.  We are image bearers whether we believe in Him or not.”

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

“When you choose to sin, to disobey any part of the Word of God you are choosing to mar that image.  It might be just a smudge, but the image is now incomplete.  Incompleteness causes pain and suffering.”

Julie stood up and walked thoughtfully to the back of the room.  She wanted to speak but was not sure how to word her question.  A look of anguish crossed and re-crossed her face as she considered different ways of asking the question.

“But we think different in this room.  Each of us belongs to different churches.  What of other faith groups or even non-faith groups?  They all point out sin.  But they all define it different.  What is sin in one culture is honored in another.”  She then gave some examples.  These differences have led to wars and all sorts of vile acts.  How can we say that any one path is correct?  I think it is best to pick and choose what is right from all of the faiths.”

Joseph scratched his chin, thoughtfully.  In the evening his normally clean-shaven face would start to have the beginnings of whiskers.  With the dim light in the room, no one would notice that but for some reason it disturbed him tonight.  Insecurity spoke to Joseph’s heart as he prepared his answer.  He desired to honor God with his answer.  This girl was wide open.  In some ways this was a blessing for her.  She was highly teachable, mold-able.  However, he was concerned.  Being open to anything can be dangerous.  There are many who would twist this openness toward evil.  An image of Julie in an abusive relationship crossed his mind.  Deep was calling to deep within him.  This was a key moment for Julie.  He longed to set her free from the lies of the enemy. 

“What you say is true.  The Bible has indeed been used to justify racism, slavery and oppression of every type.  It breaks my heart.”

A single tear slid down his face.

“Many take single passages and hold them dear.  Anything that disagrees with their understanding of that passage or that belief is totally discarded.  While they accept the idea of the love of Christ, they do not practice it.  While God calls us to serve one another.  They choose to serve themselves in the name of God.  This is false teaching.”

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. –James 1:22

“The Scriptures teach that we actually have two vile enemies.  One is Lucifer or Satan.  Most are familiar with him and what he represents.  He is very real.  It is foolishness to deny his reality.  He wants to destroy you.  But he is not alone.  Your other enemy is your flesh.  Your flesh is totally focused on itself.  Constantly this flesh, this costume of our souls, is calling out for pleasure and a freedom from pain.  The flesh will lie, steal and cheat if need be to gratify its own desires.”

…but I beat my body and bring it into submission, lest by any means, after I have preached to others, I myself should be rejected. -1 Corinthians 9:27

“The truth is that this flesh is dead.  It is true though that sometimes, it forgets.  Sometimes when that flesh wakes from its slumber it seeks to commit to sin and justify it by twisting Scripture.  Remember that when Jesus was tempted the devil, himself, also used Scripture. “

The students seemed to recall that portion of Scripture.  Julie looked around the room. “But that still does not answer my question.  I mean Sam would call drinking a sin.  My church says that is ok.  What do we do with things like that?”

“First let me clarify something.  So far, I have only stated that we are all made in the image of God.  Sin does mar that image.  However, there is more than simply being an image bearer of the King.  There must be more.  Even Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin were made in the image of God.  Yet it seems apparent that they made choices that marred that image.  Consider that it is not only the large intense sins that mar the image but even sins that we consider minor that mar the image.  Do you want to know if an action is sinful?  Examine the Scriptures and find the truth.  Also look to see if it causes hurt.” 

It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall. -Romans 14:21

“When we put our mind on the benefit of the soul of others, we make different choices out of love.  I had an aunt that I loved dearly.  She was beautiful and fun.  She had an addiction to alcohol that kept tearing her apart.  Because she was a hard worker, she often would get promoted wherever she was working.  However, ultimately, she would relapse and become less dependable and ultimately lose her job.  She would have to start over.  Treatment would help for a season, but the issue kept coming back.  Ultimately, she drank herself to death.  In those days I did not have any real understanding of addiction recovery.  Today, I understand more.  She would come to a family function and would be determined to stay sober.  She used the skills she learned in treatment and support groups.  My family was like your church, Julie, they saw nothing wrong with alcohol.  The assumption that we all had was that since we were not forcing anyone to drink that it was ok.  My drinking was not hurting anyone.  She would be strong for a while but before the night was over, she was drunk and someone would have to drive her home.  Consider what love would have done at those family functions.  Out of love we would have chosen not to drink.   If we would have made that choice and asked what we could do to help her.  Maybe, just maybe she would be alive. So, when we are looking to see what sin is, ask what would love do or not do.  All of Scripture is there to help us figure out what love would do.”

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, -2 Timothy 3:16

“While we are all image bearers, we are not all equal.  Some have chosen to be adopted by the King.  What do we call those that are the sons and daughters of a king?”

The students looked at Joseph.  While it was a simple question, they were not sure if he was really asking them.  Ultimately, Julie answered. “Royalty.  Prince or Princess.”

“That is correct.  In the church world we call them the saved.  These are the ones that are destines for Heaven.”

Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God– -John 1:12

“While the image bearer identity is given to all without question; the opportunity to accept our royal position is up to us.”

Joseph stopped and looked around the room.  A large smile crossed his lips and he took a sip from his cup of tea.

“I am in a room of royalty.  While you are of noble blood, never forget that all men are made in the image of God.  Seek compassion, seek to love the lowly.  When you choose to hate, you choose to hate the King.”

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ –Mathew 25:40

“That is the beginning of identity.  If you cannot accept that truth than the rest of what we are trying to do here may be more difficult. You see you are more than the roles that you play, more than what this flesh presents.  To be honest you are even more than whatever mission that you perceive God has for you.”

The students were quiet and thoughtful.  Each studied the fire in deep thought.

After a moment of purposeful silence, Joseph looked around the room.  Casually, he moved to light a couple of candles.  On the kitchen table and the dining room table were large pieces of paper and colored pencils, crayons and markers.  Tonight, we are going to begin working on helping you discover who you really are.  What we are looking for is how God sees you?  I am not talking about what others in this room think about you.  Instead we are seeking what God thinks of you.  Specifically, tonight we hope to discover at least a small taste of what he has in mind for you.”  Joseph plugged his phone into some speakers and started some classical music.  “Tonight, you need to be creative.  Creativity is an attribute of God.  Because you are made in His image, you too have this attribute.  Sit where you like, I have some supplies there for you to begin your work.”

Each of the students found a place.  I am going to ask you some questions and as I say them, I want you to write.  I have provided journals and paper if you prefer to communicate in pictures.  After each question I am going to give you five minutes.  Write of draw for the entire time.  Do not stop until I tell you to.  When five minutes have passed, I will ask another question.  You must not go back and try to clean up past work.  Does everyone understand?

Homework

Project 1:

Question 1:  Imagine you are at a funeral.  You recognize many people, but you are uncertain whose funeral it is.  As you make your way up toward the front you realize that this is your own funeral.  A close relative is getting up to speak.  What will they say?  Write what you hope they would say.

Question 2: A casual acquaintance is getting up to speak next.  What do you want them to say?

Question 3: A business associate speaks next.  What do you want them to say?

Question 4: A follower, someone who has worked for you is next to speak. What do you want them to say?

Question 5: Now think back to your childhood.  Maybe you are five or six years old.  Describe that life.  Most people lose their childhood dreams as five or six.  What did you want to be when you grew up?

Question 6:  List 10 things that you are good at.  Don’t try to be modest here.  Write an honest list of 10 things that you can do well.  Quickly now you only have 5 minutes.

Question 7:  List 5 things that you are passionate about. 

Question 8: Fantasy moment:  List all that you can in the next five minutes of things you would like to own if money was no object.

Question 9: Fantasy Moment part 2:  List all that you can in the next five minutes of things you would like to do or places you would like to go.

Question 10: Fantasy Moment part 3: List all that you can in the next five minutes all of the people you would like to meet.

Question 11:  For the next 5 minutes write down all of the non negotiable values in your life.

Take a break and go for a little walk.  You and the other students feel a little glassy eyed and mentally a bit tired.  You walk around for a few moments and you try to shut your brain down.  Likely you are thinking of something that you wish that you would have liked to have written down.  This is not a test so you can go back and write those things in.

Now look through your pictures and stories and lists.  What are the common denominators?  Do you see any themes emerge?  Take a moment and capture your theme in one or two sentences.  Here is mine currently.

Joseph noticed that the students were excited and tired all at the same time.  I believe that is enough for tonight.  Too many people rush their lives and never establish a solid direction for their lives.  Take this home with you and continue to nurture this statement.  Also do the remaining projects over the course of the next week.  Again, I know that you are capable of doing this much quicker.  But a roast taste better than fast food any day.  Take your time.  What you are creating is a personal constitution.  This will be your guide.  This statement will change in wording and focus over time.  But today you have begun your journey to be capable of living like a hero.

Project 2:  Consider Bible verses that speak to the themes of your statement.  Find several and consider them all over the course of the week.  By the end of the week select one to be your key verse.

Project 3:  Looking back through your notes; what are key words that you would like to be used at your funeral? 

Project 4:  Those non-negotiable values.  Add that to your sheet.

Lesson 1 Who are You?

The students appeared to be ready so Joseph began.  “I am thrilled that you have all made it.  Tonight we will take some time discussing getting to know truth about who you really are.  Most people are in denial about who they really are or are deceived.” 

Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith. – 2 Corinthians 13:5

Sam was nodding as he thought about all of the people that he knew that were simply in denial that they were wasting their lives.  Those people made Sam sick and he felt his skin grow hot as he considered them in anger.  Eric sat smiling.  Julie looked at her hands and bit her lip a little bit.  Sarah wrote down every word.

“Our goal here is to examine our choices, to consider who we want to be and where we really are.  But for this to be effective you are going to have to be honest.  We are going to have to go to others in our lives and ask them to be really honest with us.”  Joseph looked at the students and they seemed to be tracking but none looked too sure.  “Consider those reality talent shows that are often on television.  Often times there are people who are on the show to make us laugh because they obviously have no talent.  They are there to sing, but they simply are unable to sing on key.  They look like fools and we all get a good chance to laugh at them.”  All of the students began to laugh and snicker.  “I, too, used to watch the beginning of the season of these shows just to see the talentless look foolish.  But I realized one day that these people are serious.  Nobody told them that they could not sing.  They never listened to themselves.  No one ever seriously helped them to discover their real talents.  These people established their hopes and dreams on a lie.”

Suddenly the students look a bit embarrassed.  “It would have been better if someone had loved them enough to tell them that they lacked a talent for singing but maybe pointed out something they could do well.  At the very least someone that loved these unfortunate people and could have directed them to singing lessons.”

All of the students smiled.  Julie squirmed a little bit and then raised her hand.  With a nod from Joseph she coughed and then said, “My mom tells me that I can be whatever I want to be and nobody should tell me what I can or cannot do.  I mean who am I to tell someone that they cannot sing.  Have you heard some of the professionals out there?”

Joseph considered her words with a smile.  “There is truth in that statement.  Some professionals get to the top we know not how.  Ultimately God takes the unqualified for great tasks and then qualifies them later on.  Think of Moses when he was called.  He was an 80 year old shepherd who had been out of the Egypt mainstream for 40 years.  Or consider Gideon who was actually hiding when the angel called him, ‘Mighty warrior.’”  Julie looked pleased with herself.  She looked around to see if anyone else noticed how smart she was.  People had always looked at her as a beauty but no brains. 

“While all of that is true, how would you feel if your family told you constantly that you were the best singer in the world and then they convinced you to go on one of those shows?”  Julie cringed a little bit.  “We must find people who are looking out for our best interests not just what we want.  If we can sing, we need someone to help us get better.  Like an Olympic athlete, needs a coach.  We need one in all areas of our lives.  If we have a tin ear we need someone to lovingly help us find that area that we are gifted in so that we can spend our time developing the gifts God has given us and not waste time with those areas where we are not designed to live in.   While it is true that amazing and surprising things come into your life despite a lack of talent, it is better to focus on the talents that you do have.”

Sarah chewed on her pen and stared into the fire.

“But I am getting sidetracked.  Career and talent issues are only one area where we must be honest with ourselves.  We must look at our whole being.  History shows people who might have been great leaders but were terrible husbands and fathers.  Others might have been brilliant educators but terrible in social situations.  For our efforts to be effective we must look at our entire being.  All of us are much more than simply professionals or parents or children.  We are living breathing human beings that long to grow physically, mentally, Spiritually and socially.

And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man. Luke 2:52

Additionally, we have values that we live by and hold others accountable to uphold yet often we fall short in these areas ourselves.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? –Matthew 7:3

Most do not do this on purpose.  We just tend to look out of the window rather than take any time to look in the mirror.  One of your assignments this week is to create a list of all of the values that you either live by, or would like to live by.  I suggest that you start with those things that you most dislike about others.”  Joseph looked around at all of the students.  His eyes rested on Sam.  Joseph stared at him until Sam looked down at the ground.  Joseph then made his way around the room looking at each one until they looked away. 

“I have friends that are fighting for the environment who drive SUVs to rallies where they leave trash everywhere.  I have been to churches where they teach on acceptance and grace but also shun those who have committed crimes or smell funny.  Most people are not even living up to their own standards, much less those of others.  What I am challenging you to do is to become true to yourself.”

“Why would someone not live up to their own standards?” Sam asked in a whisper as if he did not mean to speak it out loud.

“The most common reason is fear.  We live life fully terrified of what others think of us.  Confrontation is something that most people are not comfortable with so we go with the flow.  We are also afraid to establish our own values.  Every child starts out by taking on the values of those that are raising them.  However, there comes a time where the child must decide if those are his or her values or not.  This is again where we must be honest.  Is this a value that is really important to me or did I inherit it from my parents?”

“How do we make such a list?” Sarah had stopped writing.

“I include specific Bible verses like the ten commandments.  I want others not to break them so I need to check myself to make sure that I don’t violate them myself.  It would be good to point out that with that one I hold myself to Jesus’ definition of murder and adultery.  That is the higher standard.  I encourage you to aim high.”

Sam was writing quickly and Joseph waited for him to come to a stop.

“I also include things from my past that I have found to be a good standard to live by.  These include things like the Boy Scout laws and military leadership principles.  Anything that establishes a standard will work well.

“How would I have time to do anything else?” Eric asked.

“We don’t need to evaluate every single value every single day.  Make a list and take about five to ten minutes every day to evaluate how you are doing.  By the way you need to journal this examination.  It is too easy to phone it in if you only do it in your own mind.”

Joseph stopped for a moment and shifted the logs on the fire.  He gave everyone a few moments to refresh their tea.  Eric pulled a donut out of his pocket and took a big bite.  Jelly squirted out one side and ran down the front of his sweatshirt. He wiped it up with his sleeve and finished the rest of the donut.  Julie thought it was pretty funny and moved from the fireplace next to Eric on the couch.

“So we start with evaluating ourselves, from there we need to find others to speak into our lives.  People who know what we are trying to achieve and will help us get there.  I read once of a young man who decided that he wanted to be a big league baseball player when he was eleven years old.  The truth is that the professional sports dream is common among boys that age.  Why is it that so few make it?”

Eric shrugged. Sam looked around, “Most people just lack talent.”

“That is true.  I went to high school with a guy who had the talent but he never made it.  I am going to suggest that they most typically lack the discipline and the coaching.  This young man joined three different baseball teams.  He was very deliberate in who he chose to coach him.  One was an expert at strategy; another was an expert at batting and the third an expert on defense.  Ultimately, each of these held him accountable to do whatever it took to become a professional. Think of all of the areas of your life where you want to get better.  These people holding you accountable can make a real difference in your growth.  Finding specific experts for assorted parts of your life is good.  But you also need some folks who are helping you to stay balanced.  I suggest two or three folks that will call on you periodically and see how you are doing.  They need to be close enough to you to see your life.  My wife does some of this for me.  I also have others that I have personally invited to challenge me.”

Sam looked skeptical.  Julie was obviously struggling with the concept.  “I can’t think of anyone that would say anything negative about me.”

“We need people that will speak honestly into our lives.  We need people that can tell us when we are living hurtful lives and we won’t spend all of our time defending ourselves.  We are great at justifying all of our mistakes and sins.  While we must evaluate ourselves we must find other voices who can tell us truth when we are too blind to see it.  Do you have anyone that can call out any incongruities in your life?”

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. –Proverbs 27:17

“There is one final group that you should develop to help you get to know yourself and also help hold you accountable.  I call this group my dead guy counsel.”

All of the students looked perplexed.

“Being dead is not required of course. In fact one of mine is alive.  But I have a group of thirteen people from history that I have spent time studying their lives and I try to consider how they would approach any challenge that I am facing.  For example one of these for me is Jesus.  He is my one living member of the council.  I ask the simple question, ‘What would Jesus do?’  I consider any situations that He had that would be similar.  I also look at others and consider what they might do.  Sometimes my council will disagree.  Mother Theresa and Genghis Khan rarely agree.  Beethoven despises Napoleon so that makes for interesting conversation in my mind.”

After a short time of questions and answers Sarah clarified the assignment for week one.  The list is below in the worksheet.  Sam closed week one in prayer.

Lesson 1 Worksheet Getting to know yourself

For those hard chargers out there, I know that you can do this whole worksheet in one sitting.  But take the full week to fine tune, to improve and really design your life change plan.

Project 1:  Find living/ breathing mentors:  This week you can take this as far as you are able.  But at least make the list of potential men and women who can help you.  Consider people to help you in all of the following areas.  Also consider a list for special situation mentors, for example: you are looking to buy a house or move to another community. 

Write your list of potential mentors.  They do not need to have it all together.  But they should be highly qualified to instruct you in whatever area that you asking them to mentor you in. Notice there is space for three names in each category.  This serves two purposes.  1) In case one does not work out you have a plan B and a plan C.  Feel free to move to plan Z if needed.  2) Once you complete your time with one, it might be beneficial to find a second or third mentor to continue your development.

Leadership      _____________________________________________

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Physical Health           _____________________________________________

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Professional     _____________________________________________

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Spiritual           _____________________________________________

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Social              _____________________________________________

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Marriage          _____________________________________________

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Parenting         _____________________________________________

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Special _____________________________________________

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Project 2:  Write a list of values that you can examine daily behavior against.  Specific Scripture verses, Boy Scout Laws, Club codes,etc make great inspiration for these values. 

Project 3:  Make a list of three people that you want to hold you accountable toward personal growth.

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Project 4:  Create your dead guy council.

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Mentor Guidelines: 

• Choose someone that is courageous enough to tell you when you stink.
• Choose someone that has something to offer.
• Meet with them first and establish a solid understanding of how the mentorship relationship will go.  Discuss how long you will work together and what the expectations are for both parties.
• Follow through with all expectations.  Do not waste your mentor’s time.
• Always show up on time or call to reschedule as needed. NEVER BE LATE.
• Listen carefully to everything they tell you.
• Ask questions to clarify and help your understanding.

INTRODUCTION

Joseph gently strokes his beard and considers the men and women he is about to invest his own life into.  A gentle light from the small fire in the fireplace highlights the whispers of gray in his hair.  These men and women are coming to him in order to find purpose and meaning to their lives.  Yet, he realizes that the purpose and meaning is already there, within them.  It was planted by God like seeds in the garden.  However, they have forgotten or were never told how to care for the soil, how to enrich their lives so that the seed could take root.  He has been taught and has entered into the training developed over many years by warrior monks like him.  The training is not always easy, and the results are uncertain.  But what is certain is that living life on purpose adds life to life, joy to joy and lessens the sorrows of tragedy.  He wonders how he will train these men and women.  How many will make it even through their year with him.  Haunting his thoughts are the others in years past who he failed to reach, who misunderstood his directed jabs into their hearts.  How often has he failed?  The number is too many to count, yet he continues to tell himself that he will not quit trying.  Surrender is not part of his life story; nor anything that can gain a foothold in his character.  He teaches and trains this next batch of leaders for a broken world because he doesn’t know how long he has left. 

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.  –Psalm 90:12

   Knowing that our current life as we know it will be short lived creates two distinct benefits.  First, it forces us to enjoy the pleasures of today instead of wasting the time on frivolous dreams of the future.  Additionally, it causes us not to give up hope in the midst of crisis because we know that this too will pass.  Secondly, it keeps us humble.  Today you may have been the big hero but tomorrow comes when many will have forgotten your efforts of the past.  Many who love us today will hate us tomorrow.  Additionally, it causes us not to feel distress in our mistakes.  The mistakes that we made today will be forgotten and the pain will cease.  We must press on. 

    These lessons must be passed onto the next generation or they will waste their lives.  These are the sorts of thoughts that cross through Joseph’s mind as he awaits the arrival of this mentoring group.  This year’s group includes 2 men, 2 women and you, the reader.

    One of the men is named Eric.  He is young and a dreamer.  His childhood was filled with challenges due to the fact that his father was a drug addict and a criminal.  His mother however was raised in the church and chose to raise her children to love Jesus.  Seeing the roller coaster ride of addicted life alongside the stable and loving life of his mother made the choice to live life as a Christian easy.  But that was the only easy choice.  His only male role model was lazy and seemed to thrive on schemes to outwit government and blame others for his difficulties.  Eric realized that this would not work if he was to fulfill his dream of becoming a missionary.  Unfortunately, the dream was not very realistic at the moment.  How could Eric make it in the third world when he was often sick and lacked the motivation to get going to do what needed to be done to become a missionary?  An additional challenge for Eric is that his picture of the mission field was painted by romantic pictures of bringing the light to an expecting crowd of eagerly awaiting heathen ready to accept the Gospel in a heartbeat.

Joseph smiled as he thought of Eric.  When he was young, while not a Christian, he too had dreams of shaping the world and lived in a similar fantasy.  Back then Joseph thought that he was a great gift to the world and that all of his dreams could come true simply because he wanted them to come true.  The idea that he might have to work for them was totally foreign.  He searched his heart for the right words to share with this young man that work is good, that the pains of his past could shape him and that he will need to make some lifestyle choices if he wanted his dreams to come true.

Sarah was a new believer in Christ.  Over the years she had been a classic over achiever and rarely failed at anything.  Sarah was hardworking and brilliant causing her to be promoted faster than any of her peers.  With a mild case on insomnia she had been able to study and work harder than anyone else.  When she became a Christian her first move was to sign up for college courses so that she could quickly become a minister.  Even there, she excelled and rarely received anything short of perfection on her tests.

     Again Joseph saw himself in her.  At one point in his life he had been taking 25 semester hours, leading a mission’s team, a local ministry team, participating in everything that ROTC had to offer and had made time to woo his to be wife.  During that time he rarely slept more than 5 hours a night and pushed himself not only to survive but thrive. 

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; -Psalm 46:10

For those who have discovered that hard work pays it becomes its own addiction.  Sarah would provide the opposite challenge that Eric poses for Joseph.  How does one teach someone to simply stop, breathe and learn to hear from God?

    The other man in the group was named Samuel.  Samuel had been a believer in Christ for as long as he could remember.  His family was loving and caring.  They taught him many great things that he still appreciates even today.  Many of Samuel’s friends have taken to calling him Sam, but his mother still calls him Samuel.  Sam’s life has been defined by his church.  Three times a week he was in church.  Other nights he could be found diligently searching the Scriptures for truth and guidance for his future.  While Sam has a constant smile; inside he stews over the evil that he sees around him.  He burns with hate for those who deliberately live in sin and he prays for destruction to come upon them.

 When the disciples James and John saw this, they asked, “Lord, do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them?”  But Jesus turned and rebuked them. –Luke 9:54-55

    God hates sin.  Not for the sin itself but more for how it destroys life.  Every sin known to man hurts people.  Think of theft and how it robs you not only of material things but also peace of mind.  A break in can steal a feeling of security that is hard to restore.  With that in mind Sam’s mindset seems right to Joseph.  However, the hatred that brews within Sam is a recipe that deters love and grace.  Joseph longs to teach Sam, grace as God meant it to be.

    The other woman is named Julie.  Julie’s parents had been hippies in the 60s and came to faith as part of the Jesus movement.  They showed love to everyone regardless of their background.  Julie is easygoing and fun to be around.  Julie is not a part of any standard church.  Her family prays in their living room and sings songs of faith.   Each week they seek to learn how to be tolerant and loving to people.  Her father often attends services of other faiths and believes that essentially all roads lead to Heaven.  He has passed on the idea to Julie that while we should try to live a good and wholesome lives; Heaven is open to all who try to be good people.  Julie has embraced the idea that grace covers up all sin and we should be tolerant of everyone.  That is unless you are legalistic than you are evil in her mind.

Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.”  -Acts 4:12

We live in a world were tolerance is taught as moral value and that we need to accept people and all perceived truth as relevant.  This often creates challenges for the man or woman of faith who believes the Scriptures that Jesus is the only way to Heaven.  Men and women of God who believe that God does have some laws that we should follow, are often labeled as narrow minded and obscure.  Joseph considers how he will speak to this precious and loving young lady in a way that will show the error of her ways without disturbing her love for people.

  Finally, dear reader there is you.  I don’t know you.  But as you read this book you may find parts of you in Eric, Sarah, Sam or Julie.  It is possible that you are nothing like them.  But as you engage with them, ask yourself the same questions and mediate on the same truths and discover what God has for you.

Introductory Assignment:  Write out your story in just a paragraph or two.  Who are you?  Where do you fit in as far as overworked or lazy?  How about where you typically ride in the battle between Truth and Grace?  What is your perception of you?  What do others think of you?