Lesson 6

Sarah gazed around the restaurant.  She could get used to this.  The server had placed the napkin for her, gently and politely on her lap.  From their table they could overlook most of the city.  It was a clear night and the stars were putting on a show.  She took a deep breath.  The smell was of money and power.  Her glass was never empty.  She had made some girlish joke about, Estefan trying to make her drunk.  In her recent memory she did not remember laughing so much or having such a good time.  As course after course were served, she shared more and more about her life’s dreams and what she intended to accomplish professionally.  Estefan moved his chair to sit closer to her.  For just a moment she started to complain but thought better of it.  He was a good-looking man.  Delicately she rested her head on his shoulder.  Suddenly she noticed her left hand and felt self-conscious.  Though her mind was a bit cloudy from all the rich foods and the wine and the atmosphere, her hand would not lie.  She was a married woman.  Estefan looked at her hand and took it in his.  Slowly, he moved in front of her face.  Together they gazed at it in silence. 

He kissed her gently on the neck.  “Does this ring mean anything?”  Sarah was not sure how to answer it.  Her mind was swimming in emotions and excitement.  Maybe it was the wine.  She was so uncertain of how to answer.

“Through all of your stories of dreams and desires you have not mentioned a man of any kind?  Is this ring something just to keep men away?”

Eric reflected on his ultimate goal that he had written.  Who did he need to be to be the man to live that dream?  He tried to picture it.  In his heart he had already selected the girl.  What did she want in a man?  Really, he had no clue.  He assumed that she would want a strong athlete and hard worker.  All he felt that he had to offer was humor and a knack for quoting movie lines at just the right moment.  Certainly, she would want a man that would make her laugh.  As he reflected on the whole situation it dawned on him that he really did not know her at all.   What if she was mean to people or was secretly on drugs or something?  In that moment, Eric had some clarity.  First, he would construct the type of girl that could go on the mission field with him.  What skills, talents and personality traits were needed to live that sort of adventure with him?  What kind of mother did he want for his someday kids?  The epiphany became more real as he realized that while he needed her to be healthy enough to take on the rigors of missionary life, her appearance mattered little.  He also realized in that moment that he was not healthy enough for the rigors of missionary life.  He would need to make some changes as well.  He thought of the character traits a woman of God who also felt called to the mission field might appreciate.  Eric reflected on the Godly men of the Bible and started to make a list of those traits that he would need to develop.  Suddenly, his ultimate dream story took on a new life.  Excitement filled his soul.  It was not long before the notebook was full of thoughts, questions to investigate and Scripture references.  He passed most of the night fantasizing about this future life and could hardly sleep.

The smell of incense and flowers filled Julie’s apartment.  She had intended to talk to Joseph and quit the group.  But something strange was happening to her.  She stared at the lava lamp and zoned out trying to clear her mind. What was it that she really wanted?  Joseph had listened to her concerns and honestly her fears so attentively.  She had expected him to lash out at her and attack her views.  Julie had never met anyone quite like Joseph.  When she tried to steer the conversation away from rules and more importantly away from God, Joseph had delicately brought the conversation back to her ultimate dream.  How could she have her dream without a course to get there?  Would she be able to get there on her own or would she need a guide that had been there before her?  Of course, he was talking about Jesus.  Nobody had ever really referred to him as a guide but that seemed to fit in with her theology.  Deep down she liked that image.  Reluctantly she pulled out the Bible from that vacation Bible School from so long ago and started reading.

A quick stop by the office to check messages is what she had told herself.  It was after 2:00 am but it was not unusual for her to stop in during the early morning.  Though, she was there of one reason only, it was to make sure that there was no evidence of the evening she had just shared with Estefan.  Sarah was reasonably certain that nobody she knew saw her at the restaurant.  They had chosen an out of the way hotel for their triste so that seemed covered up as well.  She felt more certain that the future looked bright for her, however, she needed to bide her time.  Less than 24 hours ago she had been a faithful wife who was learning how to be a Godly woman.  Now it seemed to be unwinding.  If she could simply keep it together for a few more months than she could get the promotion.  Her mind went to the group that she had missed.  Sarah started to rehearse the lie that she would tell Joseph later that day.  One last look in the mirror and she made her way home where she could sneak into bed quietly next to her husband and he would be none the wiser.

Joseph woke up early as he usually did.  This never got easier, but he knew that he needed this time to be able to clearly hear the voice of Jesus.  His experience told him that the world was a loud place and that God liked to talk quietly.  One had to be still to hear His voice.  Sitting on the couch in front of the cold fireplace he imagined Jesus sitting on the couch with him.  “Make me useful for your service today.  Guide me as I read Your Holy Word.  Show me how to live Your Word today.  Shape my character, shape my will, make me like You.  Fill me with Your Holy Spirit that I might serve You faithfully.”  Joseph took a deep breath and listened more with his heart than with his ears.  He loved the quiet of the house at this hour.  Consciously he breathed in deeply and followed his exhalations.  After several breaths he opened his Bible and read a portion of Psalms and Proverbs and then read some other passages.  Taking his pen, he wrote the words that he was hearing.  “Life and death are in the tongue.  Truth and lies shape the future.  True life is seen clearest next to death.”  Joseph put his pen down and took another deep breath.  He wondered what that could all mean.

Samuel had slept well but still felt tired when he woke up.  Over the years he had built a series of personal rules that usually got him out of bed.  “If your alarm goes off, you will stand up and turn it off.  If you turn off your alarm you will go to your living room and read your Bible that you set out the night before.  If you read your Bible you will journal.  If you journal you will pray.”  The rules were relentless and typically pushed him out of bed and into a productive life.  But today he shut the alarm off and then crawled back under the covers.  He wasn’t sick.  Today, he just decided that it simply did not matter.  “People can be successful no matter how they live their lives.  People simply watch tv all day and never shower or leave the couch. Yet they seem to make it just fine.”  Sam could remember a lady that had gone to his church.  She moved the fridge and microwave next to her recliner so that she would not have to get up for anything except to go the bathroom.  She had once joked that if she could figure out a way to get the toilet into the living room and be as comfortable as her recliner (which she slept in) she would never get up.  She did so little with her life and felt content.  With all that he was doing he had to wonder why did he not feel content?  What was he missing?  He had no peace.  No real joy.  Just constant effort.  Just yesterday he had decided that even the lost, the odd, the strange had great purpose.  He had determined that he would not judge them nor feel hostility toward them.  But what did that mean for him?  Could he waste his life like many of them did?  He laid there in bed and tried to fall back asleep.

Mike rolled over and realized that Sarah was already in the shower.  He wondered when she had gotten home.  Quickly he jumped up and ran into the kitchen so that he could have her cup of coffee ready when she came out.  As the coffee brewed, he made the bed and left a prewritten love note on her pillow.  The guys had said he needed to woo his wife just like they were dating.  He took that to heart.  Too often he had been too tired to care when he got off work.  “Construction work was for the young,” he had often told himself.  During the small group meeting with the guys last night he was seriously thinking about going back to school so that maybe he could be a supervisor or maybe even own his own business.  Those guys were deeply inspiring him.  He had over ten years of experience.  All he needed was a chance.  More importantly though he loved Sarah.  He could not imagine even trying something risky like that without her.  Every day he would need to win her heart first, then he would start working toward a successful future.  Carefully he stirred in some of her favorite creamer and placed the cup on the table.  Mike heard the shower shut off and waited for her to arrive in the kitchen.  He was excited.  Strangely he felt like they really were dating again.

It was almost noon when Samuel finally rolled out of bed.  He had missed most of his classes.  Sitting on the couch he popped open a bag of cookies and started to eat them and thought, “This is not right.”  Setting the bag on the couch he went back to the kitchen and grabbed a tub of ice cream and a spoon.  “How can I have cookies without ice cream?”  After a short search through Netflix he found a series that he had heard a bit about and pressed play.  He was checking out for the rest of the day.  Maybe he would check out for the rest of his life.  Who would notice?  Who would care? 

Over the course of the week Eric had become a new man.  Excitement oozed out of him everywhere he went.  The clothes he was wearing were clean.  He did some research and had an interview with a doctor’s office.  It was not exactly what he had in mind for a life career, but what it did offer was an education on how the medical system worked.  His thoughts were that he might use some of that knowledge when he was on the mission field.  At the very least it would not hurt him any.  He had practiced the interview with his sister and a girl from their church.  They gave him pointers and helped him fix himself up.  Eric was surprised when they introduced him to a man at the church who knew the interviewer and gave some detailed advice that would help.  All week Eric was up early, eating healthy and living a disciplined life.  Every day he reflected on his someday family, his someday ministry and his someday home.  The very thought of it excited him.  But he knew that it would not magically happen just because he wished for it.

Mike knew that something was not quite right but could not put his finger on it.  Sarah and he had gone to church on Sunday and while she typically was very sociable and a force to be reckoned with, this week she seemed to just check the box.  Mike held every door for her, had gotten her flowers and wooed her the way they had when they were dating.  The difference now was that he was doing it all for Jesus.  It did not seem to have any effect on Sarah.  Regardless of what they were doing she would make an excuse to go to work, just to check on things.

Sarah sat in her office rewriting her ultimate dream.  She realized that her entire dream sheet was all about her career and her health.  She read it several times.  It was obvious what was missing but for some reason she just could not write in a husband, children or friends.  This ultimate picture used to make her happy, but now it seemed lonely and made her abundantly sad.  She also realized that her plans all rested on her force of personality.  There was no need to learn and grow.  Ultimately, she would be left behind.  She saw a cap even to her career.  With a snap of her earphones she went back to work on her ultimate plan.  Tonight, she would rework this and then meet with Joseph before the next gathering.  Everything in her told her she needed to get back on track.  But would that make her happy?

For four days, Samuel did not shower or shave.  He ordered in food and did not leave his house.  Over that time, he had gone through more series on Netflix than he could count.  On a trip back to the bathroom he noticed his dream sheet on his dresser.  After a quick reading and a deep sigh, he went into the bathroom.  Looking in the mirror he simply stared at the person that was there.  “Who is that guy? What am I doing?”  Completing the business that caused him to go into the bathroom in the first place he grabbed that dream sheet and began reading.  “This is NOT who I want to be.  Where have I been?”  Samuel looked at his phone and took note of the day.  He could not figure out what he had been doing.  It seemed like he had only checked out for a few hours, but days had gone by.  Samuel went back into the bathroom and brushed his teeth, shaved and showered and put on real clothes.  He felt like himself again. Grabbing his notebook and his goal sheet, Samuel went out to the park to rewrite his sheet.  This time he put down some character traits that he wanted to see the fruit of in his life.  As he worked on the sheet the sun warmed his skin and made him feel joyful.  A sense of excitement was being rekindled. 

On Saturday Julie went to the library and wrote down every rule that she liked.  The progress went slow at first.  Rules always seemed like a drudgery.  First, she can only think of how some rules worked well like traffic rules.  But then she realized that she had personal rules that she just did.  She had a rule that she did not eat meat.  There were other food rules like no onions in her potato salad and though she never thought of it as rule, she had cereal for breakfast every day.  She had rules against dating guys named Matt but really did not know why.  She never kissed on the first date and only dated guys taller than her.  Not once in her life had she turned away from a stray animal.  She had a rule against public bathrooms in gas stations. Ultimately the rules filled several pages of her notebook. 

She took the notebook to her apartment and read through it and marked those that she really felt had no lasting impact.  Others though she realized were shaping much of her life.  Most she had created for herself.  What did that mean?  Julie was a rule maker.  She laughed at the thought.  But who did these rules make her to be?  Julie chewed on her pen as she thought through what all that meant and reworked her ultimate dream.  These rules had not been deliberate, but they were part of her.  “Was that the Holy Spirit guiding her?”  Most of the rules did not have any obvious Spiritual elements but Joseph had said that all things belong to God.  Her new dream statement was very deliberate and as she reread it a smile snuck out of her.  Putting the notebook down she started to dance around.  Joy crept into her soul.

There were storm warnings on Thursday night, but they did not seem serious enough to cancel the class, so Joseph prepared the living room.  That morning he had met with Sarah and they had talked about her absence.  He didn’t know where she really had been, but he was confident that her excuse was a lie.  Since he wasn’t certain he decided not to press the issue.  Quickly he worked through the lesson on limiting beliefs.  Because they had been talking about her lack of relationships, he shared that many people make an agreement with themselves that they cannot depend on anyone.  Those that make agreements like that typically are hard driving individuals that end up alone.  “I used to be much like that.  But then one day I realized that if I kept going that way, I would be in the nursing home with no one to visit me.  The image has stuck with me when I fell myself isolating or taking on too much.”  Sarah smiled knowingly.  “You have talked about confession.  What if a confession might derail the ultimate plan?  I mean, can’t you just change directions and move on?”   “The truth will always come to light.  The real question is this.  Do you want to be in control of the timing of that?  My experience is that the truth typically comes out at the least opportune time.  A time when it might cause the most damage.  But let’s say you get away with it.  Your life will be built on sand.  Character requires confession. Character can survive the storms that are guaranteed to come.” Again, Sarah nodded thoughtfully and thanked Joseph for his time. “See you tonight.”

Now Joseph was slowly sipping some iced tea and meditating on the love of Jesus.  “How patient you are with us Lord.  Again, and again we fail you yet you never give up on us.  How is that possible?  You say that we will do greater works than you did.  How is that possible?  You forgave men who were in the process of killing you.  You love us.  Thank you.”  Joseph realized that he was crying.  “What is wrong with you? You, old fool!  This is not new information.”  Then a voice spoke.  “You must be soft and hard.  Lives are in the balance.”  A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

All four of the students piled in and quickly found a place to be comfortable.  Joseph had set out snacks and tea as per usual but tonight it didn’t look like anybody was too interested in them. Something seemed different.  Joseph had heard their revised mission and figured out that they finally had found purpose. 

“If you find purpose you can overcome nearly any obstacle.  When you look through history you see President Franklin Delano Roosevelt overcome polio to become president.  His raw ambition overcame what should have stopped the man.  Others overcome rough starts, difficult middles and other unexpected moments. It is good to have your destination in mind.  Just a reminder though.  Your destination may still look different than you are currently imagining it.  Life is funny that way.  God is in control of our lives and our world.  Regardless, now you know where to aim the nose of your airplane as you move forward.”

Each of them talked a bit about their successes of failures for the week.  Sarah remained mostly quiet but did throw in that her husband had suddenly become strangely romantic. 

“Sometimes when we change, we motivate others.  Sometimes our changes make others feel like failures, so they try to pull us down.  Other times, others change because they are just ready to change.  It’s hard to say.” Joseph looked over the group. 

“Now that you have a destination. You have an X on your map.  Unfortunately, our map is incomplete.”

Everyone looked at Joseph with a measure of bewilderment.

“There is a million dollars in gold at a certain location.  What do you want to know first?”

“Where is it?” stated as a question by Eric.

“Good first question.  That is what you have done with your ultimate dream.  Now what would be your second question?”

“How do I get there?”  asked Samuel

“Very good.  That is what we need to figure out next.  You may start the journey but go the entire wrong way.  Many years ago, my family and I moved across the country.  We knew the destination.  We had been there.  But the land in between? Not so much.”  We pulled out an old school paper map.  After some intensive study we picked several landmarks.”

“Why didn’t you use GPS?” asked Sarah.

“Mostly because we didn’t have that as an option at that point in history. Remember that I am ancient.  At least I did not have to depend on the stars.”  Joseph smiled, “There were large areas that even today have spotty cell phone reception.  Sometimes a paper map is the only dependable guide.  Anyway, that is all beside the point.  We picked out some markers that reminded us that we needed to turn, or we needed to stop for the night or whatever.”

Everyone nodded understanding.

“There were other signs along the way that were also a clue that we were on the right road even though they were not a part of the plan.  Some said welcome to this state or that state.  I didn’t think much of it at the time but if we would have been welcomed to a state that was not on our route we would have known to stop and redirect.”

“So, we are back to a plan?” asked Julie

“Yes, that is how we are going to get the gold.  But realize that this is not a rigid map.  There were opportunities along the way for side adventures.  We visited monuments, parks and more.  While we had an ultimate destination, it was critical that we enjoyed the journey.”

Julie looked a bit relieved.

“Your next project will be to consider what life will potentially look like as you head out on your journey to get the gold.  Create a landmark about three years out and then another six months out.  Both of those will let you know that you are on track or way off course.  It will be easier to make a course correction at six months than to get to the end of your life and realize that you are on the wrong continent.”

The whole group smiled.

“Just like the ultimate dream these need to be told as if they are really happening.  Write them as a fantasy using all five senses.  Imagine that it is really happening, and you have taken a time machine to that location and are observing the events.  Do not say things like ‘I hope to …’ or I expect to…’  These are really happening and write it as such.  Additionally, your six-month vision should be leading toward your three-year vision which in turn should be leading toward your ultimate dream.  Throw in adventure and fun.”

Samuel was drawing a sketch and Joseph noticed it.

“By the way.  This does not need to be in words only.  Pictures will serve you well in telling your story.”

All the students did some work on their visions while Joseph drank some tea and thoughtfully watched them.

After a few moments he interrupted the furious scribbling.

“You will be able to do some more writing on that later; I think you get the idea.  In your journal though I want you to take a moment again to consider the behaviors and actions that you have power over, that might prevent you from accomplishing your vision in any of these segments. You might need to consider character flaws that you are aware of, maybe sins that you have committed.” Joseph noticed their confusion

“What you are looking for are possible roadblocks, obstacles.  These might make the going more difficult. I caution you.  This part of the exercise can be discouraging.  But if your passion is strong enough there is no obstacle that cannot be bypassed or overcome.”

The class looked skeptical.

“I once worked with a woman who had been a nurse.  When I met her she was a hot mess.  She had been fired for taking medications from patients for her own use.  Her addiction had so ruled her life that her family had kicked her out of the house.  After a season of relapse and countless conversations she finally had the upper hand on this addiction.  Her heart was to get back to nursing.  However, she had a felony on her record because of the thieving and some other choices she had made in her addiction.  She told me that it was hopeless.  This was a legal barrier that in her imagination could not be overcome.  I wish I could tell you that I had received some sort of divine revelation that set her free and help her get her nursing license back.  All I told her was to investigate it.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s all that I had.  I had been a medic in the Army but really, I know nothing about how medical licensing and such works.  My friends, when you are done here some of you will go on to help others.  At least I hope so.  Understand that it would be impossible to be an expert in every field.  It takes humility to be able to tell someone that you don’t know.  Humility is a superpower that will empower you.  It would have been easy for me to tell her to just trust God and go try anyway.  What happened is that she investigated the situation.  Her own passion pushed her forward through phone calls, emails and website searches.  After several weeks of discouragement, she sat next to me with a huge smile.  It turns out that she could take a couple of classes and within a year she could be a surgical nurse.  She discovered there was a route to get her previous license reinstated but it would cost more than she wanted to invest in time and treasure.  Her smile was there because the two classes were cheaper than it would cost to get the old license reinstated and this new option potentially paid more.”

They all celebrated as if they knew the woman.

“This obstacle had taken her to a better place than if she simply gave up or followed some trite words of wisdom from a fool.”

“What about diseases or some sort of disability?”

“Nothing can stop you if you want it bad enough.  I have met one legged mountain climbers.  I challenge you to watch the para Olympics.  These men and women have incredible skills and can run faster and do things that those with all of their limbs fail to accomplish.” Joseph was silent for a moment, “Disease can be a motivator.  Your time on earth might be limited so what do you have to lose?  If I am going to die next week than I better start living right now and not waste a moment.  Just take a moment and brainstorm some of the obstacles.”

Joseph looked around.  None of the students looked directly at him.  Sarah seemed to be blushing slightly the others just looked uncomfortable as they wrote.

“Now my purpose here is not to create shame.  Shame is a powerful tool of the enemy to make us believe that we are unworthy.  But we can also use this feeling to resolve to make things right so that our sins, that will always be found out, do not derail us as we get closer to our dream.”

“Are there any negative emotions?” asked Samuel. 

“Not really.  Emotions are for our benefit.  They might be warnings.  They might be a release of tension or serve some other purpose.  Now what we do with those emotions and the roots of those emotions might be fraught with evil.  That is why we talked about the self-inventory last week.  We must take time to routinely examine our motives and make them right before God.”

After a few moments, Joseph continued.

“Now we must work on the final piece for this life plan.  This will be your three-month goals.  This is different than the vision statements in that these need to be very specific.  No statement of get healthier here.  Rather something more detailed like run a mile in eight minutes or less.” 

“I could never do that,” mentioned Eric.

“Maybe or maybe not.  I think if you trained and worked at it you might be able to do more than you think.  Past failures are not a picture of your future.”

“This goal or as I like to think of it your result also needs to be measurable.  You must know for certain if you pulled it off or not.  This could be reading twelve books.  If you read a book a week this is doable.  But the point here is that in three months you will have a list of twelve books that you have read, or you did not complete the goal.  Make sense?”

They all nodded.

“How many goals?”

“You should have three to five at most.  These need to challenge you but also meet some more requirements.  These must be attainable.  Too many people make promises to their future self that are impossible.  You might say three months from now that you will drop two hundred pounds.  That is specific and measurable.  You might be able to pull it off by cutting off a leg or something but generally there are very few healthy ways to pull that off.  Now I want to say that the physical are easiest to describe here so that is why I focus on fitness.  That is not the real target.  These goals can be any of the other areas we talked about on your ultimate vision.”

“What else is needed to make these goals good.”

“These need to be realistic.  While I want you to dream, I also don’t want you to give yourself superhuman powers.”

They all laughed.

“These also need to be time focused which I am giving you with the three-month timeline.  These results also need to be exciting.  You should read the result and imagine yourself crossing the finish line and be very excited.  Finally, these goals need to be relevant.  They need to lead toward your six month or three year or ultimate vision in some way.”

“Can you give some ideas on what spiritual goals might look like?”

“Well let me give some further insight as there are really two types of goals that you might choose to develop.  There are achievement goals.  These are things like running a 5K in less than 40 minutes.  But there are also habit goals.  This could be something like establish the habit of reading through my Bible every year or praying every day.”

“That makes sense.”

“Ok from there you will look over the goals and write out your purpose for achieving that result.  The more reasons the better.  I say that because some days you simply will not care.  You will need more than will power.  Why are you waking up early?  Why are you studying?  These purposes should be long and short term.  Finally, what are all the tasks that you might do to accomplish that result.  Do this for each of your goals.”

Joseph let them work for several minutes while he quietly sipped his tea and prayed for God to give them divine direction.  They worked diligently for about 20 minutes and then started to pack up.  The sound of wind beating against the house startled them all. 

Julie looked out the window, “Looks like we are getting wet tonight.”

They all looked a bit dejected.  Samuel seemed to be thinking.  “I needed a fresh shower anyway.”

“You can say that again,” chuckled Julie.

“I can give everybody a ride home.  If I slide off the road it might be good to have some muscle to help out,” Sarah said shaking her keys.

The troupe left together.

What they had experienced at Joseph’s was just the beginning of the storm.  They had all barely made in home in time before the real storm hit.  None of them could remember experiencing such a storm.  They were all glad for a roof over their heads and towels to dry off when they got in the door.

Samuel kept thinking about the storm. “What is my foundation in the storm.”  He had always thought that it was the church.  He did know the Sunday school answer that always seemed to fit, “Jesus.”  But what did that mean?  Samuel laid back on his bed and thought deeply.  His mind began wrestling with the thought. “What does it mean for Jesus to be the foundation of life.”  Samuel understood that Jesus could help him in church.  That seemed obvious.  Why was it that he could not even remember what the preacher talked about last Sunday?  He knew that he had a pretty solid checklist of behaviors that would put him in good standing with God.  At least he had been taught that these were good and solid behaviors that Christians should be exhibiting.   Why was it that he knew all the right answers but still felt no peace?  “Well God, what does it mean to make Jesus my rock?” 

The room seemed silent.  Samuel could hear his own breathing and little else.  He closed his eyes and tried to picture what Jesus looked like.   Though he was pretty sure he did not look like the Hollywood versions nor the paintings that the ancient artists had drawn up, that was all that he had to go on.  That was the image he used.  “Again, he asked, What does it mean to live with Jesus as my rock.”    

In his mind, Samuel began to see verses pass across his mind as if he were reading his Bible.  He seemed to be reading several passages and seeing them for the first time.  He saw crowds insulting Jesus and in several incidents coming to kill Him. Even though Jesus slipped away it was obvious that He was rejected and hated by the establishment of His time.  “Will you be rejected for my sake?  Will you be scorned and hated in my name?”

Samuel’s eyes popped open.  He looked around the room.  Nobody was there.  Once more, Samuel closed his eyes and tried to reflect on Jesus again but this time all he could see was himself in a Sunday school class.  The teacher was someone not much older than him.  He recognized the scene.  He knew what was coming.  The teacher was twisting Scripture to fit a doctrine.  Samuel saw where the lesson was going and knew that this was a false teaching.  In fact, Samuel believed that this teaching was more in line with the temptations offered by Satan to Jesus than to real truth.  Yet, he was afraid to confront this teacher because he knew that he would be shunned and unpopular for standing his ground.  Others taught different forms of oppression and justified hate in the name of Jesus.  Samuel seemed to hear several other voices as if they were a storm in themselves.  Samuel wept.

Squealing with glee, Julie twirled in the downpour.  Again, and again she spun around just letting the rain drench her and run from her nose. Her heart raced with joy.  She stood back in awe at the lightening and then braced for the thunder.  When it finally came, she decided it might be time to go inside. 

With his mind in a flutter, Eric wrote ferociously.  For hours he simply wrote the details of all his dreams.  His heart was on fire as he captured the finest details of his other fantasies.  He had different colors of pens and as his mind came up with questions, he would write them down.  The storm had passed but none of that mattered to him.  Eric was focused.  He drew pictures, he had arrows connecting assorted seemingly random thoughts.  Somehow the arrows all made it make sense.  Possessed by the inspiration he wrote and wrote until he noticed the sun was peaking beneath the curtains.  With a deep satisfaction, he closed his journal and sat back.  Though he had missed an entire night of sleep, he was more awake than ever.  Ten minutes later Eric was at the coffee shop ordering his favorite and then walking through the park.  He was living in a bit of a daze. 

When Sarah returned home her husband was watching a movie, so she sidled up next to him and had a seat on the couch.  Mike looked confused but pleased.  He couldn’t remember the last time that she simply stopped and spent time with him. With his arm around her he took a deep relaxing breath.  The past several days he had felt like something was wrong but now, maybe, it would all be ok.  Silently, under his breath Mike thanked God and kissed Sarah gently on her forehead.

Worksheet 5

Project 1: Considering your ultimate dream.  Fill out the goal setting worksheet to include your three year and six month goals.  These should be somewhere between here and your ultimate dream.  Tell the story.

Project 2:  Set two habit goals and two achievement goals that you WILL accomplish over the next three months.  This is your result.  These should stretch you but not TOO much.

Project 3:  Write out all of the reasons why this goal MUST get done over this next three months.  The more reasons the better.

Project 4:  Write out all of the actions that you will be taking to get that result. 

Over the course of the week it seemed all of the students had contacted Joseph about the difference between the values of week one and the non-negotiable of week 2.  Four times in different ways Joseph shared this mind exercise. 

Imagine that you are the captain on a vessel.  You have a strong value for human life.  Hidden on board are several children who are Jewish and it is 1936.  The German navy boards your ship knowing that you have historically been a smuggler.  You also have a value of honesty.  Which one of these two values wins out for you?  This is the difference.

Julie had drawn beautiful pictures and clever words to capture what she was thinking throughout project one.  She actually enjoyed adding color and the lack of structure really spoke to her.  Where she struggled was coming up with a phrase to bring it all together.  Ultimately her statement included using art to help those who were hurting.

Sam was very structured and wrote out long answers and was very focused on this.  But he too struggled with putting it all into words.  He needed the creative side of human nature and was lacking the ability.  The day before the next gathering he actually called Julie and asked her to have coffee with him so she could help him word what he was trying to say.  They had a great time and Sam was able to help her put some structure to her wording as well.

Eric did not even really begin the work until an hour before the group was to meet.  All week he was distracted and confused.  He liked to relax and enjoy life.  Most days he felt guilty that he was doing so little.  At church last Sunday the minister talked about the Grace of God and that God’s grace covers over a multitude of sins.  Eric figured that laziness was a sin and God could do the work for him.  When he presented his personal constitution to Joseph he noticed the disappointment in his eyes.  Joseph tried to play it down by saying they would talk later in the week.

Sarah had an incredible but impossible ethos statement.  Of course, if she never slept and ate on the move, she could pull it all off.  Maybe if God blessed her with some superhuman powers she would do the miraculous.  Joseph knew that he would have to help her to home in on the essence of what God would want for her.

A few hours before the gathering, Joseph sat quietly dreaming of his ultimate future.  In the dream he was walking with his wife toward an incredible venue.  At this point the vision was only about 20 years away and he has come a very long way on this heroic quest that he developed so long ago.  In the vision it is a beautiful day.  The air is cool and fresh, and his bride is looking incredible.  He is walking in his military dress blues.  Their hands are intertwined as they walk toward the double doors.  Gently he pulls the door open and ushers her inside.  There they are greeted by room full of people.  The faces are familiar.  As they walk through the crowd each face comes with a distinct memory.  His mind is sharp even though he is almost 75 years old.  While the crowd is very encouraging there are three faces that he is looking for above all others.  Suddenly he sees them.  His children are moving toward him.  Tears fill his eyes as he sees them with their families.  All three are living God honoring lives and have put together this party to honor their parent’s 50^th wedding anniversary. The date is May 17, 2047.  Joseph and his bride are led to the head table and they sit surrounded by love and applause.  Stories of lives impacted and how the world is different because of this couple are filling the room. 

When it is time to eat, they are called upon to go through the line first.  The menu he knows matches the buffet lines that he had enjoyed at weddings as a child.  His mouth waters as he can almost taste the food as well as the memories of childhood joys.  When the meal is complete, he is dancing with his wife.  Polkas and laughter envelop the room.  Soon the evening is ending and they return to this home.  This home that is paid off and in great shape is powered entirely off the grid. 

The dream comforts him as he prepares for the evening ahead.  Truth be told he walks through this vision often.  It keeps him on track.  Some moments when temptation comes his way, he knows that a misstep could wipe away the dream.  He has eaten right and exercised so that he will be in the best possible shape to dance with his much younger wife.

Tonight, Joseph will share his life vision with the class and encourage them to do the same. 

All four students were present and ready to go on time this week.  Joseph had talked with Sarah about her tardiness and how disrespectful that he thought that was.  He was gentle but strong.  Eric was there actually wearing nice slacks and a button-down shirt.  His face was fresh and clean.  He looked ready for an interview.  Joseph had talked with him during the week during a discussion on values.  Eric had said that he wanted to take on the behaviors like the professional that he dreamed of becoming.  Joseph encouraged him to dress like his dream was already coming true.  Sam was there with a notebook ready to do his part.  He still had not put together an accountability team but had some ideas of people to talk to.  Julie also did not really have a very solid list of prospects.  But she knew one person that she would talk to this week that might be able to help her more than most. 

“Last week we talked about knowing yourself.  Some of you have discovered that you really don’t know much about who you are.”

Joseph looked around but did not allow his eyes to sit on any one person.  Tonight, we will begin exploring where you are going.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. –Jeremiah 29:11

“Now I know that each of you have differing views on God.  But I must share with you up front that I feel deeply that God has a plan for each of our lives.  What we will put together this week is not really something that you will or even can create.  What you will construct is a vision, God’s vision for your life.  We will begin exploring this vision and then use it to shape the direction of our lives.  As we create the vision, we will capture the heart of God.”

Sam stopped writing and asked, “I like that.  But how do we know that the vision that we create is from God.  Our own imaginations can be pretty powerful.”

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. -2 Corinthians 10:5

“That is true.  Our own ambitions and desires often get in the way of who we really need to become.  God created us for a purpose.  While I might be given a glimpse of His vision for the lives of my family or even my students; only you and God will know the truth.  That is why it is so important to know yourself.  Examine yourself and be totally honest.  Have others speak into your life.  He speaks through other people and of course His Word.  Circumstances can also awaken his vision for you as well.  Also, as you create the story that tells of your future life, understand that God may withhold some portions of the dream from you for now.  Later, when you have grown and matured, He will share more.”

Joseph then shared the vision for his life.  Throughout the telling of the story he paused to point out the critical nature of some of the details.  Throughout the vision he was envisioning who he was physically, mentally, spiritually and socially.

And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man. -Luke 2:52

“Also notice as I told the story I attempted to include all of my senses.  The more real that you make the vision, the more likely you are to live your life in such a way to fulfill it.”

Julie coughed as a way of breaking in and interrupting.

“If this is God’s plan than do, we really need to do anything to make it happen.  I mean in theory I can simply believe, and it will come true in His timing.”

“On one level you are correct.  But that is not really the way that it works.  You see God gives us the vision and the privilege of working to make it come to pass.  While it appears that we are creating a destination, the truth is that really what we are creating is a journey filled with fun and adventure. We know that in the end the good guys win, but the fun is in seeing how we get there.”

In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. –James 2:17

“One year I moved my family from the state of Washington to Oklahoma.  Consider that Washington was me knowing myself.  While living in the Northwest, God showed me much about who He was and who I was.  He worked with me and developed me.  When the time was right, He called me to move.  That is the lesson from last week.  Now I am asking you to develop a picture of what Oklahoma looks like.  Where is your destination that you are going to take your moving truck and all your belongings to? 

Something else that is significant is that along the way there were road signs.  These were often helpful.  By seeing the signs, I knew if I was on track or not.  If I looked up and the sign said welcome to New York I would have realized that I had missed a turn somewhere.  Once you complete the story of your ultimate life it is critical that you take some time to make some road signs so that you know if you are heading the right way or not.  I suggest looking at your life three years from now as well as one year from now.  Again, the more realistic and the more senses that you incorporate into your story the more likely it is to come true.”

There was much discussion and stories told of moving experiences.  Soon the laughter died out and all the students went home to begin capturing their dreams.

Week 3 Worksheet

Project 1:  Write out the story of your ultimate dream for your life.  Make sure to include elements from your whole self, Physical, Mental, Spiritual, Social, Professional, Housing, Parenting.  While still being somewhat realistic, do not hold yourself back.  Dream big.  Include all of your senses and work to experience as much of the story as possible.

Project 2: Do the same as project 1 but now look just 3 years into the future and create a second story there with the same criteria.  Make sure that this story is leading you toward the ultimate dream of your life.  Put dates and times to some parts of the story.

Project 3:  Do the same as project 2 but now look just one year into the future.  Make sure to consider how the dream a year from now feeds into your dream for five years from now.  For example, if you want to graduate college with a four-year degree on your five-year plan.  Then part of the picture in your one-year plan would be to include research and exploration toward that dream of college.

Project 4:  Review at least a portion of your values list every day this week and journal how you are doing.

Project 5: Officially create a little team to help hold you accountable to your values this week.

Lesson 3 Who are you? Developing a Personal Constitution

Over the past week Joseph has had follow up conversations with all of his students.  Discussions around values and faith have come up often. 

Joseph met with Eric a couple of times this week.  Eric holds firmly that if God wants him on the mission field and he is certain that God does, then Eric can sit on the couch eating chips and playing video games and God will make it happen.  Joseph agreed that God was fully capable of doing whatever He wanted.  But he reminded Eric that even God typically chooses not to drive a parked car.  There are lots of things God can do, but He won’t. 

Sarah is very concerned with getting it all right and perfect.  She seems terrified to make a mistake so has called Joseph several times and sent many drafts of the values list.  Joseph has attempted to calm her concerns.  The list is a beginning.  Over time God will reveal other Scriptures and her life experiences will give other opportunities to establish a standard for living a righteous and holy life.  In fact, over time the list of values should become more challenging and push us in many ways. 

Sam is certain that he is right and here he is likely on target.  Where he is strong on the values portion, he is very reluctant to gather others to call him on his choices.  The whole accountability thing scares him quite a bit.  Joseph talked about those men and women who coach super stars.  These people that they are coaching are incredible, yet they take input from the coach so that they can become or remain the best in the world at their craft.  While nobody really likes to have their flaws called out or told that their might be a better way, they know that if they want to excel they must take feedback.

Talking with Julie though out the week was a bit like trying to control a kite in a tornado.  Her mind raced quickly from one idea to another without ever landing.  Joseph worked to help her focus on a few key values that seemed to really speak to her.  While she states that she is open to accountability, she is having trouble finding anyone that she trusts. 

You, my reader.  What are your struggles in considering your values?  Is your life blowing in the wind or are you heading toward a defined target?  Remember that what you are building may end up in a career or a marriage but really the target is to build character.  What character must you have to live the life that you really want? 

 It was early morning and Joseph sat quietly slowly drinking his coffee and considering what week 2 might look like.  He visualized the students and their struggles.  When he had first decided to try to help people, he would become frustrated with their struggles.  “How difficult can it be to write down who you are and who you want to be?”  In those days he would become frustrated.  More than once he decided that he simply did not have the skills to be able to teach these skills that had come so easy to him.  It had been in those moments where he had heard the voice of God challenging him to grow in patience.  The Holy Spirit nudged him toward creativity so that he could find new ways to communicate the material.  Jesus, himself, spoke to Joseph through His Word and His example.  For the most part the apostles really didn’t understand much of what Jesus was teaching until later after the resurrection and mostly after the Holy Spirit came to them and filled them in the upper room.  Change take time. 

Now on the morning of the next gathering; Joseph prepared himself by reflecting on his own Ethos Statement.  This is the essence of who he is.  While over time our values adjust with maturity our ethos is the core of who we are.  This statement will include a personal mission statement, a key Scripture verse, some key words to describe who you are and some nonnegotiable statements of our values.  In tonight’s training, the class will create a personal constitution.  This document will give a solid baseline for the rest of their lives.

“Father show me who I am in Your sight.  When I look at myself, I see a tired and weak man with great dreams but little to show for it.  Some have called me hateful names in the past.  Others hate me because I take a stand for you.  Some hate me because they simply disagree with my philosophy of life.  Some days I feel like I am falling short.  Jesus, help me to be the man that you have designed me to be.  Often, I am impatient.  I do not show the love for the lost as I should.  I can be greedy and selfish on so many occasions. I lust, I have hateful thoughts, I am full of judgment.  Holy Spirit purify me.  Wash me, cleanse me.  As I open Your Word to me, let me know it, hear it and apply it.”

Joseph read a chapter of Proverbs, 5 Psalms and several pages of Scripture.  Carefully he listened for anything that God might be telling him.  Today, God seemed to be encouraging Him to listen.  He sat, listened through the silence.  The cat landed on the ground across the living room and took up her position near the fire.  With a deep breath, Joseph closed his eyes and strained his ears to hear.  The wind seemed to whisper to him as it shook the leaves right outside the back door.  Peace washed over his soul and Joseph considered his life.  He was tired.  But there was much to do.  Every student was important.  Not only those that showed up in his living room from time to time but also those that had heard his recordings and read his books.  “One more, Father.  Just one more!”

As the first glimmer of the sun showed itself, Joseph could hear the Father say, “I know you.  I am pleased with you.  You are my son.  I love you more than you can comprehend.  Those feelings that you are describing come from My enemy. They come from your flesh.  Do not listen to them.  Focus on me.  Listen to my Word.  Obey.”

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” –Jeremiah 1:5

Throughout the day Joseph played and worked and enjoyed the beauty of God’s creation around him.  He would walk through the woods close to his house and listen for the Father to speak.  He reflected on his life verse, Micah 6:8.

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. –Micah 6:8

As evening approached the students appeared.  The teacher was ready.  While Joseph was in the kitchen preparing some snacks the students all found their places.  Tonight, they all seemed a bit subdued.  Joseph smiled as he noticed that they had all chosen the same seats as they did the week previous.

Sipping the tea, they discussed the assignments from the week prior.  This assignment had been easy for some but more difficult for others. Sam looked at those who had found it challenging as if they were idiots.  As if he could read Sam’s mind, Joseph began.

“One day the beaver called forth all of the animals of the kingdom and said that they would have a contest to determine who would be the new ruler of all.  The best and brightest of all the various species of creatures were all there.  This contest would have only one event said the beaver.  All the animals considered the possibilities.  The fish hoped that it was a swimming event.  The monkey hoped that it was a climbing event.  The crocodile and the lion both hoped that there would be a meal involved.   All the birds hoped that it was a flying event.  Finally, the beaver spoke, “Are we agreed that the winner is the ruler and we all will obey our new king?”  All agreed and ready to begin.  Stillness rested over the forest as they awaited the announcement.  “The contest will be to build the strongest dam across the river.”  While the birds could make a nest, the idea of a dam to span the river seemed beyond their ability.  Most of the creatures had no idea.  By nightfall the beaver was the new king of the forest.”

The students laughed but not out loud.  A gleam crossed the eyes of Joseph. 

“Now realize that if the event had included hunting on land, the lion would have won.  If the event would have included swimming a fish certainly would be the new ruler.  What if the event had been hunting in the river, the crocodile would have taken the prize?  My point is that we all have our strengths.  God has created us that way.  He did that so that we would depend on each other.  If we all had the same strengths some of us would not be needed.”

Sam looked as if he had been punched in the gut.  No one looked around.  Each was looking within themselves and feeling ashamed.  They had all made judgments about each other.

“On this side of Heaven, perfection alludes us.  Often, we fear those things that we do not understand.  We are trapped by a desire to be known.  Yet, at the same time we are convinced that if others knew us, they would neither love us nor like us.  Consider this flesh.”  Joseph lightly touched the skin on his forearm.  After a short pause he also lightly brushed the skin on his face. “It is a temporary structure.   Many of the relationships that we find so dear today simply will not matter tomorrow.”

For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. 2 Corinthians 5:1

“If my wife were here, she would show you pictures of me in the 80s with a mullet.  Oh, I thought I was so cool.  I got my hair done like that to impress a girl. Today, I don’t even remember her name.  This body is simply a costume that covers over our true selves.  Our true selves can be found in our souls.  What is in your soul?  What was God’s plan for you?  This is what we are looking to discover this week.  Would you be the beaver who was clever enough to speak first so that the contest would favor him?  Maybe you would want to be the lion or one of the birds.  Regardless, we are examining deep within us to discover who we are.  First, recognize that all of mankind is made in the image of God.  We are image bearers whether we believe in Him or not.”

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

“When you choose to sin, to disobey any part of the Word of God you are choosing to mar that image.  It might be just a smudge, but the image is now incomplete.  Incompleteness causes pain and suffering.”

Julie stood up and walked thoughtfully to the back of the room.  She wanted to speak but was not sure how to word her question.  A look of anguish crossed and re-crossed her face as she considered different ways of asking the question.

“But we think different in this room.  Each of us belongs to different churches.  What of other faith groups or even non-faith groups?  They all point out sin.  But they all define it different.  What is sin in one culture is honored in another.”  She then gave some examples.  These differences have led to wars and all sorts of vile acts.  How can we say that any one path is correct?  I think it is best to pick and choose what is right from all of the faiths.”

Joseph scratched his chin, thoughtfully.  In the evening his normally clean-shaven face would start to have the beginnings of whiskers.  With the dim light in the room, no one would notice that but for some reason it disturbed him tonight.  Insecurity spoke to Joseph’s heart as he prepared his answer.  He desired to honor God with his answer.  This girl was wide open.  In some ways this was a blessing for her.  She was highly teachable, mold-able.  However, he was concerned.  Being open to anything can be dangerous.  There are many who would twist this openness toward evil.  An image of Julie in an abusive relationship crossed his mind.  Deep was calling to deep within him.  This was a key moment for Julie.  He longed to set her free from the lies of the enemy. 

“What you say is true.  The Bible has indeed been used to justify racism, slavery and oppression of every type.  It breaks my heart.”

A single tear slid down his face.

“Many take single passages and hold them dear.  Anything that disagrees with their understanding of that passage or that belief is totally discarded.  While they accept the idea of the love of Christ, they do not practice it.  While God calls us to serve one another.  They choose to serve themselves in the name of God.  This is false teaching.”

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. –James 1:22

“The Scriptures teach that we actually have two vile enemies.  One is Lucifer or Satan.  Most are familiar with him and what he represents.  He is very real.  It is foolishness to deny his reality.  He wants to destroy you.  But he is not alone.  Your other enemy is your flesh.  Your flesh is totally focused on itself.  Constantly this flesh, this costume of our souls, is calling out for pleasure and a freedom from pain.  The flesh will lie, steal and cheat if need be to gratify its own desires.”

…but I beat my body and bring it into submission, lest by any means, after I have preached to others, I myself should be rejected. -1 Corinthians 9:27

“The truth is that this flesh is dead.  It is true though that sometimes, it forgets.  Sometimes when that flesh wakes from its slumber it seeks to commit to sin and justify it by twisting Scripture.  Remember that when Jesus was tempted the devil, himself, also used Scripture. “

The students seemed to recall that portion of Scripture.  Julie looked around the room. “But that still does not answer my question.  I mean Sam would call drinking a sin.  My church says that is ok.  What do we do with things like that?”

“First let me clarify something.  So far, I have only stated that we are all made in the image of God.  Sin does mar that image.  However, there is more than simply being an image bearer of the King.  There must be more.  Even Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin were made in the image of God.  Yet it seems apparent that they made choices that marred that image.  Consider that it is not only the large intense sins that mar the image but even sins that we consider minor that mar the image.  Do you want to know if an action is sinful?  Examine the Scriptures and find the truth.  Also look to see if it causes hurt.” 

It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall. -Romans 14:21

“When we put our mind on the benefit of the soul of others, we make different choices out of love.  I had an aunt that I loved dearly.  She was beautiful and fun.  She had an addiction to alcohol that kept tearing her apart.  Because she was a hard worker, she often would get promoted wherever she was working.  However, ultimately, she would relapse and become less dependable and ultimately lose her job.  She would have to start over.  Treatment would help for a season, but the issue kept coming back.  Ultimately, she drank herself to death.  In those days I did not have any real understanding of addiction recovery.  Today, I understand more.  She would come to a family function and would be determined to stay sober.  She used the skills she learned in treatment and support groups.  My family was like your church, Julie, they saw nothing wrong with alcohol.  The assumption that we all had was that since we were not forcing anyone to drink that it was ok.  My drinking was not hurting anyone.  She would be strong for a while but before the night was over, she was drunk and someone would have to drive her home.  Consider what love would have done at those family functions.  Out of love we would have chosen not to drink.   If we would have made that choice and asked what we could do to help her.  Maybe, just maybe she would be alive. So, when we are looking to see what sin is, ask what would love do or not do.  All of Scripture is there to help us figure out what love would do.”

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, -2 Timothy 3:16

“While we are all image bearers, we are not all equal.  Some have chosen to be adopted by the King.  What do we call those that are the sons and daughters of a king?”

The students looked at Joseph.  While it was a simple question, they were not sure if he was really asking them.  Ultimately, Julie answered. “Royalty.  Prince or Princess.”

“That is correct.  In the church world we call them the saved.  These are the ones that are destines for Heaven.”

Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God– -John 1:12

“While the image bearer identity is given to all without question; the opportunity to accept our royal position is up to us.”

Joseph stopped and looked around the room.  A large smile crossed his lips and he took a sip from his cup of tea.

“I am in a room of royalty.  While you are of noble blood, never forget that all men are made in the image of God.  Seek compassion, seek to love the lowly.  When you choose to hate, you choose to hate the King.”

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ –Mathew 25:40

“That is the beginning of identity.  If you cannot accept that truth than the rest of what we are trying to do here may be more difficult. You see you are more than the roles that you play, more than what this flesh presents.  To be honest you are even more than whatever mission that you perceive God has for you.”

The students were quiet and thoughtful.  Each studied the fire in deep thought.

After a moment of purposeful silence, Joseph looked around the room.  Casually, he moved to light a couple of candles.  On the kitchen table and the dining room table were large pieces of paper and colored pencils, crayons and markers.  Tonight, we are going to begin working on helping you discover who you really are.  What we are looking for is how God sees you?  I am not talking about what others in this room think about you.  Instead we are seeking what God thinks of you.  Specifically, tonight we hope to discover at least a small taste of what he has in mind for you.”  Joseph plugged his phone into some speakers and started some classical music.  “Tonight, you need to be creative.  Creativity is an attribute of God.  Because you are made in His image, you too have this attribute.  Sit where you like, I have some supplies there for you to begin your work.”

Each of the students found a place.  I am going to ask you some questions and as I say them, I want you to write.  I have provided journals and paper if you prefer to communicate in pictures.  After each question I am going to give you five minutes.  Write of draw for the entire time.  Do not stop until I tell you to.  When five minutes have passed, I will ask another question.  You must not go back and try to clean up past work.  Does everyone understand?

Homework

Project 1:

Question 1:  Imagine you are at a funeral.  You recognize many people, but you are uncertain whose funeral it is.  As you make your way up toward the front you realize that this is your own funeral.  A close relative is getting up to speak.  What will they say?  Write what you hope they would say.

Question 2: A casual acquaintance is getting up to speak next.  What do you want them to say?

Question 3: A business associate speaks next.  What do you want them to say?

Question 4: A follower, someone who has worked for you is next to speak. What do you want them to say?

Question 5: Now think back to your childhood.  Maybe you are five or six years old.  Describe that life.  Most people lose their childhood dreams as five or six.  What did you want to be when you grew up?

Question 6:  List 10 things that you are good at.  Don’t try to be modest here.  Write an honest list of 10 things that you can do well.  Quickly now you only have 5 minutes.

Question 7:  List 5 things that you are passionate about. 

Question 8: Fantasy moment:  List all that you can in the next five minutes of things you would like to own if money was no object.

Question 9: Fantasy Moment part 2:  List all that you can in the next five minutes of things you would like to do or places you would like to go.

Question 10: Fantasy Moment part 3: List all that you can in the next five minutes all of the people you would like to meet.

Question 11:  For the next 5 minutes write down all of the non negotiable values in your life.

Take a break and go for a little walk.  You and the other students feel a little glassy eyed and mentally a bit tired.  You walk around for a few moments and you try to shut your brain down.  Likely you are thinking of something that you wish that you would have liked to have written down.  This is not a test so you can go back and write those things in.

Now look through your pictures and stories and lists.  What are the common denominators?  Do you see any themes emerge?  Take a moment and capture your theme in one or two sentences.  Here is mine currently.

Joseph noticed that the students were excited and tired all at the same time.  I believe that is enough for tonight.  Too many people rush their lives and never establish a solid direction for their lives.  Take this home with you and continue to nurture this statement.  Also do the remaining projects over the course of the next week.  Again, I know that you are capable of doing this much quicker.  But a roast taste better than fast food any day.  Take your time.  What you are creating is a personal constitution.  This will be your guide.  This statement will change in wording and focus over time.  But today you have begun your journey to be capable of living like a hero.

Project 2:  Consider Bible verses that speak to the themes of your statement.  Find several and consider them all over the course of the week.  By the end of the week select one to be your key verse.

Project 3:  Looking back through your notes; what are key words that you would like to be used at your funeral? 

Project 4:  Those non-negotiable values.  Add that to your sheet.

Lesson 1 Who are You?

The students appeared to be ready so Joseph began.  “I am thrilled that you have all made it.  Tonight we will take some time discussing getting to know truth about who you really are.  Most people are in denial about who they really are or are deceived.” 

Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith. – 2 Corinthians 13:5

Sam was nodding as he thought about all of the people that he knew that were simply in denial that they were wasting their lives.  Those people made Sam sick and he felt his skin grow hot as he considered them in anger.  Eric sat smiling.  Julie looked at her hands and bit her lip a little bit.  Sarah wrote down every word.

“Our goal here is to examine our choices, to consider who we want to be and where we really are.  But for this to be effective you are going to have to be honest.  We are going to have to go to others in our lives and ask them to be really honest with us.”  Joseph looked at the students and they seemed to be tracking but none looked too sure.  “Consider those reality talent shows that are often on television.  Often times there are people who are on the show to make us laugh because they obviously have no talent.  They are there to sing, but they simply are unable to sing on key.  They look like fools and we all get a good chance to laugh at them.”  All of the students began to laugh and snicker.  “I, too, used to watch the beginning of the season of these shows just to see the talentless look foolish.  But I realized one day that these people are serious.  Nobody told them that they could not sing.  They never listened to themselves.  No one ever seriously helped them to discover their real talents.  These people established their hopes and dreams on a lie.”

Suddenly the students look a bit embarrassed.  “It would have been better if someone had loved them enough to tell them that they lacked a talent for singing but maybe pointed out something they could do well.  At the very least someone that loved these unfortunate people and could have directed them to singing lessons.”

All of the students smiled.  Julie squirmed a little bit and then raised her hand.  With a nod from Joseph she coughed and then said, “My mom tells me that I can be whatever I want to be and nobody should tell me what I can or cannot do.  I mean who am I to tell someone that they cannot sing.  Have you heard some of the professionals out there?”

Joseph considered her words with a smile.  “There is truth in that statement.  Some professionals get to the top we know not how.  Ultimately God takes the unqualified for great tasks and then qualifies them later on.  Think of Moses when he was called.  He was an 80 year old shepherd who had been out of the Egypt mainstream for 40 years.  Or consider Gideon who was actually hiding when the angel called him, ‘Mighty warrior.’”  Julie looked pleased with herself.  She looked around to see if anyone else noticed how smart she was.  People had always looked at her as a beauty but no brains. 

“While all of that is true, how would you feel if your family told you constantly that you were the best singer in the world and then they convinced you to go on one of those shows?”  Julie cringed a little bit.  “We must find people who are looking out for our best interests not just what we want.  If we can sing, we need someone to help us get better.  Like an Olympic athlete, needs a coach.  We need one in all areas of our lives.  If we have a tin ear we need someone to lovingly help us find that area that we are gifted in so that we can spend our time developing the gifts God has given us and not waste time with those areas where we are not designed to live in.   While it is true that amazing and surprising things come into your life despite a lack of talent, it is better to focus on the talents that you do have.”

Sarah chewed on her pen and stared into the fire.

“But I am getting sidetracked.  Career and talent issues are only one area where we must be honest with ourselves.  We must look at our whole being.  History shows people who might have been great leaders but were terrible husbands and fathers.  Others might have been brilliant educators but terrible in social situations.  For our efforts to be effective we must look at our entire being.  All of us are much more than simply professionals or parents or children.  We are living breathing human beings that long to grow physically, mentally, Spiritually and socially.

And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man. Luke 2:52

Additionally, we have values that we live by and hold others accountable to uphold yet often we fall short in these areas ourselves.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? –Matthew 7:3

Most do not do this on purpose.  We just tend to look out of the window rather than take any time to look in the mirror.  One of your assignments this week is to create a list of all of the values that you either live by, or would like to live by.  I suggest that you start with those things that you most dislike about others.”  Joseph looked around at all of the students.  His eyes rested on Sam.  Joseph stared at him until Sam looked down at the ground.  Joseph then made his way around the room looking at each one until they looked away. 

“I have friends that are fighting for the environment who drive SUVs to rallies where they leave trash everywhere.  I have been to churches where they teach on acceptance and grace but also shun those who have committed crimes or smell funny.  Most people are not even living up to their own standards, much less those of others.  What I am challenging you to do is to become true to yourself.”

“Why would someone not live up to their own standards?” Sam asked in a whisper as if he did not mean to speak it out loud.

“The most common reason is fear.  We live life fully terrified of what others think of us.  Confrontation is something that most people are not comfortable with so we go with the flow.  We are also afraid to establish our own values.  Every child starts out by taking on the values of those that are raising them.  However, there comes a time where the child must decide if those are his or her values or not.  This is again where we must be honest.  Is this a value that is really important to me or did I inherit it from my parents?”

“How do we make such a list?” Sarah had stopped writing.

“I include specific Bible verses like the ten commandments.  I want others not to break them so I need to check myself to make sure that I don’t violate them myself.  It would be good to point out that with that one I hold myself to Jesus’ definition of murder and adultery.  That is the higher standard.  I encourage you to aim high.”

Sam was writing quickly and Joseph waited for him to come to a stop.

“I also include things from my past that I have found to be a good standard to live by.  These include things like the Boy Scout laws and military leadership principles.  Anything that establishes a standard will work well.

“How would I have time to do anything else?” Eric asked.

“We don’t need to evaluate every single value every single day.  Make a list and take about five to ten minutes every day to evaluate how you are doing.  By the way you need to journal this examination.  It is too easy to phone it in if you only do it in your own mind.”

Joseph stopped for a moment and shifted the logs on the fire.  He gave everyone a few moments to refresh their tea.  Eric pulled a donut out of his pocket and took a big bite.  Jelly squirted out one side and ran down the front of his sweatshirt. He wiped it up with his sleeve and finished the rest of the donut.  Julie thought it was pretty funny and moved from the fireplace next to Eric on the couch.

“So we start with evaluating ourselves, from there we need to find others to speak into our lives.  People who know what we are trying to achieve and will help us get there.  I read once of a young man who decided that he wanted to be a big league baseball player when he was eleven years old.  The truth is that the professional sports dream is common among boys that age.  Why is it that so few make it?”

Eric shrugged. Sam looked around, “Most people just lack talent.”

“That is true.  I went to high school with a guy who had the talent but he never made it.  I am going to suggest that they most typically lack the discipline and the coaching.  This young man joined three different baseball teams.  He was very deliberate in who he chose to coach him.  One was an expert at strategy; another was an expert at batting and the third an expert on defense.  Ultimately, each of these held him accountable to do whatever it took to become a professional. Think of all of the areas of your life where you want to get better.  These people holding you accountable can make a real difference in your growth.  Finding specific experts for assorted parts of your life is good.  But you also need some folks who are helping you to stay balanced.  I suggest two or three folks that will call on you periodically and see how you are doing.  They need to be close enough to you to see your life.  My wife does some of this for me.  I also have others that I have personally invited to challenge me.”

Sam looked skeptical.  Julie was obviously struggling with the concept.  “I can’t think of anyone that would say anything negative about me.”

“We need people that will speak honestly into our lives.  We need people that can tell us when we are living hurtful lives and we won’t spend all of our time defending ourselves.  We are great at justifying all of our mistakes and sins.  While we must evaluate ourselves we must find other voices who can tell us truth when we are too blind to see it.  Do you have anyone that can call out any incongruities in your life?”

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. –Proverbs 27:17

“There is one final group that you should develop to help you get to know yourself and also help hold you accountable.  I call this group my dead guy counsel.”

All of the students looked perplexed.

“Being dead is not required of course. In fact one of mine is alive.  But I have a group of thirteen people from history that I have spent time studying their lives and I try to consider how they would approach any challenge that I am facing.  For example one of these for me is Jesus.  He is my one living member of the council.  I ask the simple question, ‘What would Jesus do?’  I consider any situations that He had that would be similar.  I also look at others and consider what they might do.  Sometimes my council will disagree.  Mother Theresa and Genghis Khan rarely agree.  Beethoven despises Napoleon so that makes for interesting conversation in my mind.”

After a short time of questions and answers Sarah clarified the assignment for week one.  The list is below in the worksheet.  Sam closed week one in prayer.

Lesson 1 Worksheet Getting to know yourself

For those hard chargers out there, I know that you can do this whole worksheet in one sitting.  But take the full week to fine tune, to improve and really design your life change plan.

Project 1:  Find living/ breathing mentors:  This week you can take this as far as you are able.  But at least make the list of potential men and women who can help you.  Consider people to help you in all of the following areas.  Also consider a list for special situation mentors, for example: you are looking to buy a house or move to another community. 

Write your list of potential mentors.  They do not need to have it all together.  But they should be highly qualified to instruct you in whatever area that you asking them to mentor you in. Notice there is space for three names in each category.  This serves two purposes.  1) In case one does not work out you have a plan B and a plan C.  Feel free to move to plan Z if needed.  2) Once you complete your time with one, it might be beneficial to find a second or third mentor to continue your development.

Leadership      _____________________________________________

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Physical Health           _____________________________________________

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Professional     _____________________________________________

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Spiritual           _____________________________________________

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Social              _____________________________________________

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Marriage          _____________________________________________

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Parenting         _____________________________________________

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Special _____________________________________________

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Project 2:  Write a list of values that you can examine daily behavior against.  Specific Scripture verses, Boy Scout Laws, Club codes,etc make great inspiration for these values. 

Project 3:  Make a list of three people that you want to hold you accountable toward personal growth.

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Project 4:  Create your dead guy council.

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Mentor Guidelines: 

• Choose someone that is courageous enough to tell you when you stink.
• Choose someone that has something to offer.
• Meet with them first and establish a solid understanding of how the mentorship relationship will go.  Discuss how long you will work together and what the expectations are for both parties.
• Follow through with all expectations.  Do not waste your mentor’s time.
• Always show up on time or call to reschedule as needed. NEVER BE LATE.
• Listen carefully to everything they tell you.
• Ask questions to clarify and help your understanding.

INTRODUCTION

Joseph gently strokes his beard and considers the men and women he is about to invest his own life into.  A gentle light from the small fire in the fireplace highlights the whispers of gray in his hair.  These men and women are coming to him in order to find purpose and meaning to their lives.  Yet, he realizes that the purpose and meaning is already there, within them.  It was planted by God like seeds in the garden.  However, they have forgotten or were never told how to care for the soil, how to enrich their lives so that the seed could take root.  He has been taught and has entered into the training developed over many years by warrior monks like him.  The training is not always easy, and the results are uncertain.  But what is certain is that living life on purpose adds life to life, joy to joy and lessens the sorrows of tragedy.  He wonders how he will train these men and women.  How many will make it even through their year with him.  Haunting his thoughts are the others in years past who he failed to reach, who misunderstood his directed jabs into their hearts.  How often has he failed?  The number is too many to count, yet he continues to tell himself that he will not quit trying.  Surrender is not part of his life story; nor anything that can gain a foothold in his character.  He teaches and trains this next batch of leaders for a broken world because he doesn’t know how long he has left. 

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.  –Psalm 90:12

   Knowing that our current life as we know it will be short lived creates two distinct benefits.  First, it forces us to enjoy the pleasures of today instead of wasting the time on frivolous dreams of the future.  Additionally, it causes us not to give up hope in the midst of crisis because we know that this too will pass.  Secondly, it keeps us humble.  Today you may have been the big hero but tomorrow comes when many will have forgotten your efforts of the past.  Many who love us today will hate us tomorrow.  Additionally, it causes us not to feel distress in our mistakes.  The mistakes that we made today will be forgotten and the pain will cease.  We must press on. 

    These lessons must be passed onto the next generation or they will waste their lives.  These are the sorts of thoughts that cross through Joseph’s mind as he awaits the arrival of this mentoring group.  This year’s group includes 2 men, 2 women and you, the reader.

    One of the men is named Eric.  He is young and a dreamer.  His childhood was filled with challenges due to the fact that his father was a drug addict and a criminal.  His mother however was raised in the church and chose to raise her children to love Jesus.  Seeing the roller coaster ride of addicted life alongside the stable and loving life of his mother made the choice to live life as a Christian easy.  But that was the only easy choice.  His only male role model was lazy and seemed to thrive on schemes to outwit government and blame others for his difficulties.  Eric realized that this would not work if he was to fulfill his dream of becoming a missionary.  Unfortunately, the dream was not very realistic at the moment.  How could Eric make it in the third world when he was often sick and lacked the motivation to get going to do what needed to be done to become a missionary?  An additional challenge for Eric is that his picture of the mission field was painted by romantic pictures of bringing the light to an expecting crowd of eagerly awaiting heathen ready to accept the Gospel in a heartbeat.

Joseph smiled as he thought of Eric.  When he was young, while not a Christian, he too had dreams of shaping the world and lived in a similar fantasy.  Back then Joseph thought that he was a great gift to the world and that all of his dreams could come true simply because he wanted them to come true.  The idea that he might have to work for them was totally foreign.  He searched his heart for the right words to share with this young man that work is good, that the pains of his past could shape him and that he will need to make some lifestyle choices if he wanted his dreams to come true.

Sarah was a new believer in Christ.  Over the years she had been a classic over achiever and rarely failed at anything.  Sarah was hardworking and brilliant causing her to be promoted faster than any of her peers.  With a mild case on insomnia she had been able to study and work harder than anyone else.  When she became a Christian her first move was to sign up for college courses so that she could quickly become a minister.  Even there, she excelled and rarely received anything short of perfection on her tests.

     Again Joseph saw himself in her.  At one point in his life he had been taking 25 semester hours, leading a mission’s team, a local ministry team, participating in everything that ROTC had to offer and had made time to woo his to be wife.  During that time he rarely slept more than 5 hours a night and pushed himself not only to survive but thrive. 

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; -Psalm 46:10

For those who have discovered that hard work pays it becomes its own addiction.  Sarah would provide the opposite challenge that Eric poses for Joseph.  How does one teach someone to simply stop, breathe and learn to hear from God?

    The other man in the group was named Samuel.  Samuel had been a believer in Christ for as long as he could remember.  His family was loving and caring.  They taught him many great things that he still appreciates even today.  Many of Samuel’s friends have taken to calling him Sam, but his mother still calls him Samuel.  Sam’s life has been defined by his church.  Three times a week he was in church.  Other nights he could be found diligently searching the Scriptures for truth and guidance for his future.  While Sam has a constant smile; inside he stews over the evil that he sees around him.  He burns with hate for those who deliberately live in sin and he prays for destruction to come upon them.

 When the disciples James and John saw this, they asked, “Lord, do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them?”  But Jesus turned and rebuked them. –Luke 9:54-55

    God hates sin.  Not for the sin itself but more for how it destroys life.  Every sin known to man hurts people.  Think of theft and how it robs you not only of material things but also peace of mind.  A break in can steal a feeling of security that is hard to restore.  With that in mind Sam’s mindset seems right to Joseph.  However, the hatred that brews within Sam is a recipe that deters love and grace.  Joseph longs to teach Sam, grace as God meant it to be.

    The other woman is named Julie.  Julie’s parents had been hippies in the 60s and came to faith as part of the Jesus movement.  They showed love to everyone regardless of their background.  Julie is easygoing and fun to be around.  Julie is not a part of any standard church.  Her family prays in their living room and sings songs of faith.   Each week they seek to learn how to be tolerant and loving to people.  Her father often attends services of other faiths and believes that essentially all roads lead to Heaven.  He has passed on the idea to Julie that while we should try to live a good and wholesome lives; Heaven is open to all who try to be good people.  Julie has embraced the idea that grace covers up all sin and we should be tolerant of everyone.  That is unless you are legalistic than you are evil in her mind.

Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.”  -Acts 4:12

We live in a world were tolerance is taught as moral value and that we need to accept people and all perceived truth as relevant.  This often creates challenges for the man or woman of faith who believes the Scriptures that Jesus is the only way to Heaven.  Men and women of God who believe that God does have some laws that we should follow, are often labeled as narrow minded and obscure.  Joseph considers how he will speak to this precious and loving young lady in a way that will show the error of her ways without disturbing her love for people.

  Finally, dear reader there is you.  I don’t know you.  But as you read this book you may find parts of you in Eric, Sarah, Sam or Julie.  It is possible that you are nothing like them.  But as you engage with them, ask yourself the same questions and mediate on the same truths and discover what God has for you.

Introductory Assignment:  Write out your story in just a paragraph or two.  Who are you?  Where do you fit in as far as overworked or lazy?  How about where you typically ride in the battle between Truth and Grace?  What is your perception of you?  What do others think of you?